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Wednesday, 2 April 2008

Cutting corners

It feels later than it is, because everybody I know went to bed hours ago. I'm not tired yet. I want to email somebody, but I can't think of a thing to say...

I don't want to go on MSN because it feels like I have the same 3 conversations with 100 different people. I feel worn thin, as if I've repeated who I am to so many people that there's no rarity value in knowing me. That's a strangely lonely feeling.

There are too many people on my contact list, and so few I can talk to.

I wish I could start again. Keep the important people, and lose the worthless 80% of my memory. How much junk we carry around our heads! How many useless relationships that never went anywhere!

It isn't like that for everyone. When I was a child, I was told that loving people is like cutting the corner off a piece of paper and giving it to them. They get three corners, and you go from four to five... That's true for some people. The more they give of themselves, the more self they have. Not me. I'm like a wounded computer game character. I'm standing and fighting, but an inch away from needing to start on my next life. The paper gets smaller.

I don't mean to sound excessively emo.

I'm fine really; optimistic, hopeful. I just get lonely sometimes. Not nearly as often as I used to, but sometimes.

For your company, such as it is, I thank you.


  1. *hugs*

    Love the picture btw hehe, makes me happy.

    i'm sorry that you felt that way last night. At least it doesnt happen as often... best to just look at the bright side of things, the other side is just too depessing sometimes... errrr most the time.. :P haha

    Looks like you had a nice time in France :D ... was you any good at french at school ? did it prove useful haha :P i did french for so many years but can hardly string anything worth saying together lol... YAY!

    *dances randomly*

  2. Aww, poor Anner :(

    I fell asleep last night and didn't wake up for 11 hours, I was exhausted

    Here's an amazing song I just discovered:

  3. My poor love. I'm glad you slept.

    This song is lovely :)

    John, I thought I couldn't remember a thing, but it started coming back to me! Seeing it written everywhere was a huge help. I think you'd probably find the same thing.


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