In need of a redesign since 2011.

Sunday, 12 February 2006

I'm being unfaithful...

I'm sorry, but I have to confess something. I have been looking at other blog sites to see if there's somewhere I might consider... um... switching to. Y'see, I get restless pretty easily, and other blogs have all these cool features - and one of them is called manicfish, isn't that such a cool name? What I wouldn't give to have a name that cool in my blog address.

Sadly, they're all rubbish. I'm not kidding. They are boring and all plain colours, whereas I have a colour scheme! Hah! Yes I do, with spots! Oh yes! So I'm staying put, at least until a better offer comes along.

Maybe it's not such a terrible thing that I'm not the boyfriend-having type...

It's the school half term now, so I spent most of saturday asleep. And today for the first time in yonks, I wasn't even slightly sleepy at church. I was so proud of myself. It wasnt half bad actually.

That reminds me, there's this verse that's been on my mind lately. Everybody I know gives me a different explanation, so any ideas would be welcomed... John 20:23. Jesus says to his disciples, "If you forgive their sins, they will be forgiven. If you do not, they will not be forgiven." So.... wow. Big deal slightly? I mean, does this apply to the disciples only, or was it instructions for the church, and... wha...? Like I said, no two people seem to agree.

My mum didn't know I have a blog. Hunh. I guess it hasn't come up in conversation much, but still! She's my mother, she should already know these things without me having to tell her.

Saturday, 11 February 2006

Boyfriends, and a lack thereof.

So, in honour of this time of year (Yeah right, we all know it's a commercial holiday) I thought I'd let you all know how the love-life is going. Hah.

I have never had a boyfriend. Ever. I have never even been kissed (except on the neck and that doesn't count for various reasons). And that's voluntarily, you understand - years of not playing spin-the-bottle because I wanted my first kiss to mean something. So I kind of set myself targets... by the age of 17, I decided, I would feel get compliments about the way I look. And when I was 17, I sometimes did. By 18, I would start to accept the compliments (as opposed to saying "What?! You must be crazy, or blind, or both.") And by 19, fingers crossed, I will be able to believe the compliments. Anything's possible...

So, where I am now, there are a few guys who seem to think I'm attractive. And yay for them, seriously, but I'm no closer to getting a boyfriend. This presents me with a serious problem. Because for my drama A level, we have chosen to do a play that will involve me kissing (like, properly 'snogging') two guys I WORK WITH. I am not attracted to them especially, and I don't know how to kiss. At the grand old age of 18 I am having nervy spazzes about kissing a guy. Ugh. Pathetic.

So, at this most romantic time of year, when a third of Britain will get all loved up and the other two thirds will get depressed and resentful, I will be obsessing because my first kiss will be a joke. And I don't know how. Whimper.

Sorry for landing all my neuroses on you, but you'll just have to put up with it. I don't know you, why should I pretend to be confident and capable? Hm. That's almost deep.

Sunday, 5 February 2006

My rock.

On Thursday, I was given a rock. To remind me of something very important. As time progressed, I grew to love the rock. It would comfort me through a zombie film, and even through a film with Keanu Reeves in. Just fiddling with it kind of got me addicted, which is why, on the way home from the cinema when I realised that I DIDN'T HAVE MY ROCK, I got hugely upset. So, after pining for the rest of saturday and all of sunday moring, I went to the beach to get another rock.

There are many rocks on Cowes beach. I am not even aware if there is any sand. Just rocks. And now I have a new rock, which, although it's different, I'm sure I will grow to love it just as much.

What's really sad is that I care so much about a rock.