New Blog

I'm starting a new 'sister blog' to host some of my poems, short stories, pictures and so forth. You can find it at http://creativesplurges.blogspot.com/. Anyway, I'm going to leave a link at <-the side<- if you ever want to have a look at it.

Ok, so basically, you know I mentioned that I was writing in this again because I've linked to it from my website? I've decided that there's really no point in having both, and this site looks so professional that there's really no sense in abandoning it. Besides which, there's no intrusive advertising on this site. So... yeah.

To clarify: I am not abandoning this blog. The other one is just more specialised.

Happy Christmas!

I hope you all have a very happy Christmas. Granted, this is a bit late... ok, I hope you had a very happy Christmas, whatever. Anyway! Thank you so much for actually reading this, it means a lot to me and I hope I can rely on some feedback from you. I'd also like to wish you a happy new year. Here's hoping 2007 rocks!



By the way, you're looking lovely today. Smile!

Ah, I love Firefox.

There's so many cool gizmos and whatnots you can add... in fact, I'm writing this in one of them. It's called Performancing, and if it does what it says on the tin it should go straight through to my blog without me needing to even visit the site.

I'm going to have a go at embedding a YouTube video now, one of my favourites actually. Hope you like it.



Granted, I then had to go into my account to edit the post because the code didn't work... hmm. I'm sure I'll work it out.

Stress, fog, G4 politics and the like.

So, work has been getting steadily more... work-like. I still really enjoy my job, don't get me wrong, but after three stress-free months, it's returned with a thud for Christmas. I mean Christmas was always bound to be mad, it is in any job. It's just that there's staff conference in january. And Andy's leaving for pastures new. And everyone's out of action having babies all over the place (a minor exaggeration, but seriously, ALL OVER THE PLACE). It's just all that, combined with the fact that they're going to expect more from me now that I'm a term in. That's all.

Today has been so foggy! All day. The streetlights made everything outside the visibility zone look like a giant orange blur, all very strange and surreal.

It was the G4 Christmas meal today. It was great seeing everyone again! I spent a fair while talking to Kerry's fiancé, Tom, about Mormonism. If my friend's going to be baptised into it, I should know what it's all about. I've done a fair bit of research, but the concepts still feel a bit alien... I've got a lot to think about... but I've decided that I'm going to her baptism.

I don't know if I ever mentioned Bruce. Our spider plant. My beloved. Tonight, the mystery of his disappearance was solved. Dan did it. He cut off Bruce's leaves and threw him in the bin, hahah what a practical joker that Dan is... turns out the "F4" thought it would be funny. The self-titled fantastic 4.

The F'ing 4 weren't the only example of G4 politics, of course, as tonight reminded me... honestly, I love them all individually, but I'm well shot of that environment. Jenny and Becky (supervised by Mike, of course) made a professionally printed G4 calender, and it's fantastic, but as Jenny pointed out, it's nice that everybody looks so happy in the photos because "you can't tell who hates who".

And that about sums it up, really.

Religion

Did you know that everyone feels oppressed by everyone else? In terms of religion, I mean. We all feel oppressed.

Somebody should do something about that.

Net friends

Is it possible to have a friendship with somebody you know exclusively, or mainly, over the internet? I don't mean somebody you knew who you only talk to online, I mean somebody you've never met, and have no contact with, other than what they've allowed you to see?

That's the kicker, isn't it. People can be so selective with what they show you. A forty year old man could present himself as a young woman, and it would be hard to know that the reality didn't match the image presented. Can we ever really trust someone we haven't seen in the flesh? If people can lie in the big ways, surely they can lie in the small ways? Taste in music, eye colour, where they live. What's to say that the personality you've come to 'know' matches their true self?

Well, I'd argue that the same could be said of anyone, whether you've met them or not. Your brother could be lying to you. Your wife could. Your maths teacher could. I don't think it really makes much of a difference how close you are, you can never really prove who you are to anyone.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should all be cynical about how honest people are being. I'm just saying that maybe online relationships aren't so different to any other. I have friends online, and I wouldn't hesitate to call them friends. There's one in particular that I share some very important things in common with, we get on well, and that's taken our relationship outside of MSN. We talk on the phone. He left me a treasure hunt for when I was going to be in the same place as he'd been three weeks previously. He's always there for me if I've had a bit of a pants day, and I'd like to think that I'd do the same for him. We're a lot closer than I am with some people I've known my whole life.

I'm very sensible, in general. I probably would meet him alone, if the opportunity presented itself, but in a public place, in daytime, etc etc. But I know how different the reality may be. I know that there are a million little things I don't know about him. The way he walks. If he blows his hair out of his eyes. If he fiddles with his hands. So I'm prepared, when I meet him (and I'm pretty confident that one day I will), there will be an awkwardness there because we don't know each other in that way. But once we get past that intial discomfort, I'm confident that we'll find we know each other as well as we ever thought we did.

It's just a different context, that's all. I've got to know him in an environment where looks aren't important, fashion isn't important, wealth isn't important; and we're not used to that, as a society. Whether it's a truer reflection of his personality, I couldn't say, but I don't think online friendships 'don't count' just because of the lack of a physical presence.

The hardest thing, though, is that me and my dave are both rather 'huggy' people. We like that physical contact, that reassurance. It can mean a lot when you're feeling low. And to be deprived of that just because he lives too far away seems... unfair, almost. No, yes, it is unfair. To be so close but so far away. I don't care what anyone says, those little hug emoticons just don't do the trick! ;) (Neither does <-that<-, ironically. It means I'm being lighthearted.)

Miss you, Dave. Sorry we haven't spoken for a few days. We will.

Re-purplened hair!

Dear diary. Still on the bloody island. Today I swallowed a bug.

Well, my beloved Dominique has kindly helped my dye my hair again. It's much purpler than last time. I love it! We had a great time watching Cars and eating chocolate cake. And talking in Southern accents. And laughing about... everything. I love Dom for that, we can have a laugh about anything and everything... but we both miss Lucy very much.

Lucy went to South Africa. She isn't dead or anything.

So I'm moving back in with my parents tomorrow, just for a couple of weeks for Christmas... the festive season's kinda snuck up on me, what with not being with my family for the traditional build-up. All the things I associate with Advent haven't happened, and now suddenly I'm meant to be ready with presents all wrapped... let me tell you, I am not that organised. Wish I was.

Purple purple purple purple.

Possible burnout ahead?

This is the third time I've blogged this month, and we're only halfway in. That is ridiculous! I better slow down. I might strain a blogging muscle. I think my brain is overheating, this is absurdly prolific for me. I mean, yeah, some bloggers might post something every day. Or maybe even more than that. But you've got to find your own level, you know? And my personal level has got to be... ooh, once, twice a month. Tops. And now, to see that very comfortable plateau ROCKETING to THREE times a month... well, it's disconcerting. To say the least.

In fact, I think I'm reaching burnout. I think I may have no more thoughts in my head. Wait. If I'm thinking that, that means I must have thoughts. I think. Oh, there's another one! This is all making me very dizzy, I may have to lie down.

Actually, I'm already semi-reclined. You see, I am very slack. So now that I have my beloved laptop and a very comfortable bed, I tend to combine the two in true lazy girl style more often than is good for me. But in my defence, it makes more sense than putting it on the desk, because then it would be a desktop now wouldn't it. And that would just be darn silly.

I do have more significant thoughts than this, I promise. All deep and meaningful-like. I've just been drowning them out with thoughts of the interwebs lately. Bad Anna.

Anywhoot, I'm off to watch Lost like a moron instead of sleeping. Meh, who needs sleep, it just slows me down...

This picture was NOT meant to be blue. WHY is it blue. *grumbles* stupid blog...

Wii are the champions!

So today I was lucky to enough to play on my friend's Wii. (Ok, snigger, now let's move on.) And I have to say, I love it! For those who don't know (but by the time anyone reads this, everybody will), the Wii is Nintendo's latest gaming console and it is super-clever and most probably the forerunner of a new type of gaming console.

I got used to the Wii controller pretty quickly, because the movements are pretty intuitive. Tennis in particular was really fun to play because it just felt so natural. And the whole idea of making "Miis" (mini representatives of yourself) is genius, that was a lot of fun.

My friend, being a purebred techie, had to do it properly of course. Not for him the standard plug-it-into-the-telly setup, ohno. He had to have a projector attached to his living-room ceiling and a 70-inch white screen on the wall to play on. So I reckon I probably got the best playing experience possible. And it was gooood...

I think probably it will be improved. Like, little things like the resolution, the games available etc. But the general concept of the Wii controller will probably be adopted by Nintendo's rivals sooner rather than later... or they'll have to find another way to compete. Especially since it's affordable in comparison to the PS3. (About £350 cheaper... that's quite a bit.)

So the future is looking rather spiffy. The only complaint I do have is that it can't always tell if you're moving the controller forwards or backwards, which can be an issue in golf.

My completely non-professional opinion: 9/10, and they'll be working on the rest in no time :)

Internet withdrawal.

This picture (---->) is in honour of Boh3m3. If you don't know, you probably don't need to!

I made it one whole week without an internet connection. Voluntarily. Iiiii Know!

Well, y'see, I've been spending far too long online. So I took a week off to see how much spare time it frees up. Turns out, the answer is: a lot!

It was bad, though. A few times I even woke up thinking I'd failed my task, only to realise that it had been a dream... that's just a little bit tragic...

But internet addiction is more common than you might think. Just look at YouTube (which I've returned to willingly and lovingly after this heartbreaking absence). I'd say there are probably hundreds of people on there who couldn't cope without a daily fix, no exaggeration. And I'm one of them apparently, even if I do have some self-control.

It took a lot of discipline, but I made it, and I'm back and grooving.

I bought the second Scissor Sisters album the other day, Ta-Dah. I had really high expectations given how much I loved their first one, but I have to say, it has exceeded my expectations. It's awesome! Truly spectacular, these guys just keep getting better. I think my favourite track at the moment is I Can't Decide; the best in cheesy psychotic pop songs. Although Land of a Thousand Words (their latest single) is excellent too. But then, once again, so is every song on the album... oh, and Intermission is absolutely classic.

Hello again, blog...

Yes, I know I've been neglecting you. Yes, I know, I'm sorry. Well I'm back now.

It's just that I've been busy, you know? What with work, friends, family, and an insane YouTube addiction that's severely crippling my free time.

Anyway. It's good to be back. Maybe I can actually become a regular blogger! ... Heheh, right...

I should be asleep. I told myself I'd be sensible tonight, try and get to sleep before midnight, but noooo again the YouTube steals my time and it's already coming up to 1am. Dagnabbit.

The main reason that I'm doing this is because I've now linked to this blog from my website, which would be kind of pointless if I'd abandoned it completely. Mind you, my website isn't actually finished yet, and probably won't be until they find a way to eliminate the need for sleep completely.

At any rate, hello dear reader. I missed you. (Not Dear Reader as in the hypothetical reader, but Dear Reader as in my only actual reader, Les. Assuming he still reads this.)

My plans for the future (Yes! I have some!)

I am such a lucky, lucky girl.

At the last Catalyst I went to, Ian hunted me down and said we needed to talk. After going through the customary mental routine ("Help. Help. What have I done? Am I being kicked out? WHAT DID I DO?!") it turned out that he wanted to talk to me about a gap year thing the YFC guys have been thinking about. [1] And they wanted ME!!! Excitement!!! SO things that will be happening next year: (probably)

Moving to Newport (thus leaving home for the first time)
Learning to drive (the use of a company car included! lol)
Living with a Christian family (no idea who yet, scary...)
Assemblies with middle school kids (who are all evil, I swear)
Catalyst / clusters related stuff (so possibly public speaking!)

The thing is, I am immediately panicking about so many things... for example: what if the other kids don't like me? [2]

That said, I'm dead excited and very proud. Wish me luck / pray for me!

[1] YFC = Youth For Christ. They're the main Christian organisation for teenagers on the Isle of Wight. They organise events like Catalyst, Bible study groups, trips to Soul Survivor... and other regular doses of Godly goodness.

[2] And by 'other kids', I mean the YFC guys, the girl(s) I would be working with, and the actual kids I'll be actually leading. Terrifying beyond all reason.

Who Am I?

Does anybody else find Will Young's new music video incredibly disturbing?! The song is called Who Am I, and the video shows him in various classic Blue Peter moments from the 70s. That, to me, is very creepy; akin to photoshopping your head over someone's spouse in a photo. Ack. Makes me wonder if there's an unfulfilled childhood fantasy there.

That said, I suppose it's an ok song, (hah I say that now. Wait until it's been massively overplayed.) and he got a Blue Peter badge for his efforts so they presumably thought it was good.

So, update on me: Fine thanks. Very behind on coursework and revision and stuff, but hey ho, that's how it goes. I'll survive.

Feeling better now, thankyou

Ok. After being in a properly bad mood for the past couple of days, as I'm sure you can tell, I've snapped out of it. Yay for me. Basically, the weather's lovely, school's on strike, and I finally started being productive. I've done some coursework, at last, I cooked dinner for me and my brother, and then I took my books to the library to sort out the debts.

Of course, the library was also closed, but it's the gesture that counts.

Now I'm just trying to work out how to get to Cafe Uno tonight, looks like it's gonna be the bus. Cafe Uno, for those of you who don't know, is a great place to hang out with friends after a hard day's work (stifles laughter). We play pool, connect4, DOA3 (the best - and indeed, the only - xbox combat game I've ever played), Guess Who?. We buy milkshakes and chocolate. We talk, read cartoons, mess about, and generally have a fantastic time!

And Pete does NOT look like Mr. Tumnus. He just doesn't.

In conclusion: Llama. http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

Jealousy

Jealousy messes stuff up. I know several couples that have this problem at the moment, and I thought I should let you all know: it's destructive. To everyone. You, him/her, and everyone you know or come into contact with. It's not reasonable to demand things from your partner that they shouldn't have to give.

Grrrr. Now I'm all sad and grumpy.

Wanna know what I REALLY hate? (sorry)

I am not a hatey person. Hating is far too much effort, in my book, and not very nice to boot, but there are some things I just find abhorrant, and I thought I should blog it out before I do something I regret.

Oops - too late - I accidentally emailed one of 'em.

Y'see, there are some people out there who like to be as contraversial as possible, by insulting, offending, and mocking others. One that's going round at the moment is an anti-Christianity site, basically mocking Intelligent Design and anyone who believes it by promoting a Spaghetti God theory. I'm not saying that I believe ID, I don't know exactly what I believe, just that I find it disgusting that they are treated this way. The current theory seems to be that everyone's beliefs should be tolerated unless they're Christian. And, as with so many of these sites, there's a page dedicated solely to the 'hate mail' they recieve (i.e. anyone who disagrees with them) and, as I have seen elsewhere, somebody has constructed a well thought out, polite rebuttal of the site's content. Followed by an email asking for their email address to be removed from the site, as users of the site have been sending threats, hate mail, spam etc.

Isn't that horrible? To be so angry that someone could disagree with your patently ridiculous theory that you make their life a misery until they apologise? Sadly there are all too many people like this. I only hope that they grow up and are ashamed of themselves.

Miracles will never cease

So, after the shock revelation that somebody actaully reads this, (I know! Hi Les!) I decided it was time I updated you.

Lately I've been going to various universities to have a look around. You see, where all six of the unis I applied to have accepted me, I now have to decide which ones I consider to be good enough for me. (Which is all well and good until I fail my exams.)
Today I checked out Chichester university - eventually! Y'see, I'm not great at mapreading. Never have been. So when I was told that it would fall to me to decide where we were going, I knew there was only one way that could go.

And indeed, when we stumbled through the door of Chichester College an hour late, my worst fears had been realised. But more than that, halfway through filling out the form, I realised they thought I was going into childcare, and that the college is in fact NOT the university. So we left again. I was close to tears at one point. But the rest of the day went fine (except for getting hideously lost again on the way back through no fault of our own [they moved the ferry terminal. Seriously.])

Guess what! Ben's planned a Man's Night In! Oh dear, this may take some explaining. You see, last Man's Night In we had, I was invited as a special guest. I thought "Great, so I get to see what men act like when there are no girls around," as I'm usually in mixed company. I'm not the girliest girl ever, so I thought I'd be in my element! Not AT ALL what I expected. My (heterosexual) male friends were:
1) Watching Friends. Understandable.
2) Using moisturiser. Forgivable.
3) Dying each other's hair in the bathroom. Hmmmm.

So watching my friends taking their tops off, all 5 or 6 of us crammed into the bathroom, the most boyish thing that happened was a less-than-subtle joke about what Jamez was going to do with the rubber glove provided with the hair-dye kit.

This time it's going to be a proper manly night, with beer and sports. Never drunk beer before, could be an experience, especially since Justin wants me to drink his share as he can't be there! Sigh. I miss Justin. He's moved to London for a year, which is just inconsiderate really.

I wonder if anyone can help me with something. In Newport on the Isle of Wight there's a tiny theatre / art gallery type thing called the Quay Arts Centre. After I saw a play there the other night, I came out to see the words "The afflicted" written in chalk on a wooden part of the building. I immediately thought Oooooo a mystery! Who are the afflicted? What does it mean? What do they want? How many of them are there? Do you know?

Of course you don't. Probably one person with some chalk knows. I doubt they read my blog.

Sorry for the rather lengthy post, hope you like it. Take care y'all.

Anna x x

I'm being unfaithful...

I'm sorry, but I have to confess something. I have been looking at other blog sites to see if there's somewhere I might consider... um... switching to. Y'see, I get restless pretty easily, and other blogs have all these cool features - and one of them is called manicfish, isn't that such a cool name? What I wouldn't give to have a name that cool in my blog address.

Sadly, they're all rubbish. I'm not kidding. They are boring and all plain colours, whereas I have a colour scheme! Hah! Yes I do, with spots! Oh yes! So I'm staying put, at least until a better offer comes along.

Maybe it's not such a terrible thing that I'm not the boyfriend-having type...

It's the school half term now, so I spent most of saturday asleep. And today for the first time in yonks, I wasn't even slightly sleepy at church. I was so proud of myself. It wasnt half bad actually.

That reminds me, there's this verse that's been on my mind lately. Everybody I know gives me a different explanation, so any ideas would be welcomed... John 20:23. Jesus says to his disciples, "If you forgive their sins, they will be forgiven. If you do not, they will not be forgiven." So.... wow. Big deal slightly? I mean, does this apply to the disciples only, or was it instructions for the church, and... wha...? Like I said, no two people seem to agree.

My mum didn't know I have a blog. Hunh. I guess it hasn't come up in conversation much, but still! She's my mother, she should already know these things without me having to tell her.

Boyfriends, and a lack thereof.

So, in honour of this time of year (Yeah right, we all know it's a commercial holiday) I thought I'd let you all know how the love-life is going. Hah.

I have never had a boyfriend. Ever. I have never even been kissed (except on the neck and that doesn't count for various reasons). And that's voluntarily, you understand - years of not playing spin-the-bottle because I wanted my first kiss to mean something. So I kind of set myself targets... by the age of 17, I decided, I would feel get compliments about the way I look. And when I was 17, I sometimes did. By 18, I would start to accept the compliments (as opposed to saying "What?! You must be crazy, or blind, or both.") And by 19, fingers crossed, I will be able to believe the compliments. Anything's possible...

So, where I am now, there are a few guys who seem to think I'm attractive. And yay for them, seriously, but I'm no closer to getting a boyfriend. This presents me with a serious problem. Because for my drama A level, we have chosen to do a play that will involve me kissing (like, properly 'snogging') two guys I WORK WITH. I am not attracted to them especially, and I don't know how to kiss. At the grand old age of 18 I am having nervy spazzes about kissing a guy. Ugh. Pathetic.

So, at this most romantic time of year, when a third of Britain will get all loved up and the other two thirds will get depressed and resentful, I will be obsessing because my first kiss will be a joke. And I don't know how. Whimper.

Sorry for landing all my neuroses on you, but you'll just have to put up with it. I don't know you, why should I pretend to be confident and capable? Hm. That's almost deep.

My rock.

On Thursday, I was given a rock. To remind me of something very important. As time progressed, I grew to love the rock. It would comfort me through a zombie film, and even through a film with Keanu Reeves in. Just fiddling with it kind of got me addicted, which is why, on the way home from the cinema when I realised that I DIDN'T HAVE MY ROCK, I got hugely upset. So, after pining for the rest of saturday and all of sunday moring, I went to the beach to get another rock.

There are many rocks on Cowes beach. I am not even aware if there is any sand. Just rocks. And now I have a new rock, which, although it's different, I'm sure I will grow to love it just as much.

What's really sad is that I care so much about a rock.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAARRGH! Aaaargh! Ahahahaaaaaaaaargh... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2CfuqcUGE argh sorry, it just slipped out... there are some things David Hasselhof was NOT meant to do. Don't click on that link.

So, what am I thinking riiight now?

I could tell you about what's happened in my life, but as I am the only person who ever reads this damn thing, I'm going to record my thoughts instead.

1. Magical Trevor 3 is amazing. Go to http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor+3/ and see it. Now.

2. I'm so glad I'm not a male. That would really be A Bad Thing, and I don't know how all you males out there cope with it.

3. I hate being a woman. This lands me in a rather tricky situation. I get aggressive when people call me feminine, I get upset when people call me masculine, and I got very angry indeed when I got called a man-bashing feminist. I am not a girly girl, I am not a tomboy, I am what I am not but not what I would be if I were what I am when I'm not what I'm not.

4. I think I feel a song coming on...

5. http://www.littleredboat.co.uk/ is by far the best blog I have ever encountered. In fact, if you trust me at all, go there instead of finishing this one. This applies to me as well.

6. I am looking at weblog awards and feeling inadequate. But I am alternating that with toons, so I feel ok again!

7. Now I'm looking at other blogs and feeling confused. There appears to be no universal definition of a blog. Some contain online diaries, which (let's be honest) is kinda what I was going for. Some are just pleasant little rambles about whatever happens to be on the blogger's mind. Others comment on news, political or celebrity. There are blogs dedicated to fictional characters, films, television shows. Why?

8. I should be doing useful things right now. Specifically, I should be emptying the dishwasher for my mother before she gets back, because I said I would. Or I could be doing coursework, I said I'd do that too. Actually I didn't, but you know how teachers are, they kinda take it as read. Or I could get food. I haven't had lunch yet. Awww...

9. I'm going to empty the dishwasher now. Bye.