Experiment: fan

This is an experiment. It may well not make sense to anybody other than me, so I apologise for that!

First it was boh3m3; carelessly-crafted rants inspiring legions; we expected him to be careful with us. Inevitable disappointment, disillusionment; a fall from gracelessness, so much pride having gone before. And I, needing more, turned to the Sons of Admirals, boys demonstrating skill and immaturity and thus fuelling my fantasy. Talent is such a beautiful thing to waste. And this is what I do; watch others be wonderful, always wondering when it will be my turn, my turn to be special.

The fantasy always runs the same, no matter whom the subject: What if, what if, I met him? What if, what if I spoke? I am witty and erudite, observant and charming, and he listens. That is more or less all. To be listened to; to be respected and liked by those I like and respect; this is the stuff of dreams. And it whiles away a while for a while, while I walk or try to sleep: I think about what I would say to prove my worth.

To prove I wasn't just a fan. Which I am. I am a fan.

An abundance of blech

I'm sat at home feeling very sorry for myself today. I don't have uni on Thursdays, y'see, so it wasn't the best day to come down with a cold. Colds are the worst, aren't they? They're only just bad enough to ensure constant misery and nose-leakage (reason #3340 why I will never be a sex-symbol).

Add to that the constant, inescapable DRAMA that seems to be brewing everywhere, and you get a very mopey Anna who is confined to quarters. And hungry.

On the plus side, however, as I don't like to get too negative, I've got the option (should the misery become too much) of calling my emergency cuddle-dispenser round tonight. He's offered to cook me some food.

Well, look, there's no sense in wallowing is there. What I'll do now is log off all social networking sites, put some good music on, get changed out of my pyjamas and tidy up. That way, tonight, when I get my food and sympathy, at least today won't have been a total waste.

Oh hey, so, looking back I see I never mentioned Haberdashery? How can I have been so remiss! This is a surrealist-steampunk video made by Boh3m3. His website's not currently working, but for all that he's one of my favourite bloggers / vloggers / weblebrities (shudder).

Like everybody else, when I don't know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds.  - George Jean Nathan

Internet = OXYGEN

The reason I have been so infrequent with the updates lately is that my wireless connection has been truly fouled up lately. And yet still I updated! Now that's dedication!

Now, I don't want you to get all excited (Ok, you won't, you don't know who he is) but there is a remote possibility that Ben G might be reading this. I know. If this is in fact the case, I have but one thing to say:

UPDATE YOUR FRIKKIN' BLOG. Seriously man, if I read that opening line about the damn pickles one more time I'm going to.... do something bad!

(As an example of my writing style, I'll admit that the above isn't overwhelmingly descriptive. Well, tough.)

Hello, hello, I've missed you all!

My What-Ifs

Some of my what-ifs, for your amusement.

Oh my gosh, what if Boh3m3 just walked round the corner? What would I say, do? Would I play it cool?

Wouldn't it be weird if that guy told me he loved me for no reason? He's kinda hot. What if he turned out to be a psycho? What am I saying. Of course he would turn out to be a psycho.

Heheh. If I stood up and shouted "STOP LOOKING AT ME" in the middle of this church service, what would happen then? oh, but then what would I do. Hm. Probably burst into hysterical tears, run away, and laugh myself to death when I got around the corner.

What if I was a famous writer? What if I had a secret pen-name? It would be really fun to tell people in a really subtle way and then they'd be like "OMG I've read everything you'd ever written", and I'd be all cool and humble about it. Naturally.

If gravity was the other way up, we'd all have to jump over lights and step over doorframes and such. Plus, going outside would be terrifying. We'd have to grapnel our way from lamp-post to lamp-post.

What if all the people I liked the best came and rescued me from... something? Like an office job. And they all just burst in through the door and swept me off my feet and we all went and spent the day on a massive exploring adventure. Or a beach adventure.

What if I met Dave tomorrow...

What if someone could actually see my thoughts? ... What if they didn't like me...

Well, now you guys can see some of my thoughts. And if you don't like me, I guess that means the real me isn't worth liking. But the one person who knows me better than anyone else, loves me so much he died for me. I guess that makes me pretty special. (In a modest, self-effacing way of course.)

Happy New Year, apparently!

Oh my. I've put a video on YouTube. That is SO much scarier than blogging, because here a) I have complete control over what I say and how I say it, b) it doesn't matter how I look, and c) I'm pretty sure people don't actually read this, whereas people do watch videos on youtube. So, I'm nervous.

Still, to the important part. Happy New Year. I hope 2007 is as good for you as 2006 has been for me! Here's to returning to routine and a healthy lifestyle. My sleep patterns have gone to pot, many nights I don't get to sleep until about 5. AM. I know... so, of course, I'm not waking up until 2pm... oh dear.

As you probably haven't noticed, I've put hit counters at the top of my blogs, and I've put links to them in my signature on the boh3m3.net forum. Chances are, if you're reading this, that's how you got here.

Because it's difficult to get exposure, you know? I refuse to spam people with the link (not often, anyway), so I just leave links in key places, so if anyone's actually interested in me, they can find it. The one glitch in the plan is that nobody seems to be interested. Maybe they will be if this YouTube thing takes off, who knows... it can be so unpredictable!

I'd like to say I don't care, but I do. I'm doing this because I'm interested in people, and so far my internet experience has been sad and pariah-like, with me feeding off their lives. Here's hoping interactivity is on the cards.

Ooh, I just noticed that "on the cards" is a reference to tarot. Sorry. There's the linguist in me again! I'm odd that way.

Internet withdrawal.

This picture (---->) is in honour of Boh3m3. If you don't know, you probably don't need to!

I made it one whole week without an internet connection. Voluntarily. Iiiii Know!

Well, y'see, I've been spending far too long online. So I took a week off to see how much spare time it frees up. Turns out, the answer is: a lot!

It was bad, though. A few times I even woke up thinking I'd failed my task, only to realise that it had been a dream... that's just a little bit tragic...

But internet addiction is more common than you might think. Just look at YouTube (which I've returned to willingly and lovingly after this heartbreaking absence). I'd say there are probably hundreds of people on there who couldn't cope without a daily fix, no exaggeration. And I'm one of them apparently, even if I do have some self-control.

It took a lot of discipline, but I made it, and I'm back and grooving.

I bought the second Scissor Sisters album the other day, Ta-Dah. I had really high expectations given how much I loved their first one, but I have to say, it has exceeded my expectations. It's awesome! Truly spectacular, these guys just keep getting better. I think my favourite track at the moment is I Can't Decide; the best in cheesy psychotic pop songs. Although Land of a Thousand Words (their latest single) is excellent too. But then, once again, so is every song on the album... oh, and Intermission is absolutely classic.