Phobias

Also, I apparently have a phobia of deep sea fish. Never knew that before.

But you can see why, can't you? Fecking Aaaah, that's why. Huge fecking teeth and freaky-ass eyes. You know, lots of them have freakish lights as well, which they use to scare each other or to eat each other with their huge fecking teeth.

Urgh.

Fortunately, God be praised, I'm not likely to ever encounter one of these grisly fish-beasties in real life.

My phobias are convenient like that. I will never have to face my paralysing fear of deep sea fish, just as I will never have to confront my fear of space travel. I mean, honestly, we've got food and air and water here, is it really necessary to go hurtling off into the void in a tin can with limited supplies of the above and unlimited things that could go wrong?

Besides, what's so interesting about space? Our endeavours so far have reduced a silvery orb to a ball of grey dust. And there's so much yet to be discovered down here! We know less about our own oceans than we do about the surface of the moon.

Not that we should go looking through the oceans. Ohno. I'm just saying, is all.

Seriously though, these angler fish (the ones with lamps glued to their heads) are the stuff horror stories are made of. My brother and I made up an awesome horror story about how a bunch of space-fish that looked like that woke up and came to feed off us. Except they didn't just feed off us, they also injected millions of eggs into our bloodstream through their hollow teeth, and we would basically incubate the eggs until they hatched and began to devour us from the inside out. It's slow, it's painful, and you survive for ages. Ugh.

Ok, so possibly it's my fault I'm so scared of them!

But still. Freaky, creepy fishmonsters.