Did you miss me?

Sometimes you don't know what you've been missing until you're in the middle of it.

Tonight I caught up with a lot of very good friends. Many of us apologised to everyone for 'being antisocial lately.' It happens so easily sometimes, doesn't it; you're busy for a bit, or fancy some alone time, and the next thing you know you haven't seen some of your favourite people for months.

I've been very lonely and I don't think I saw a way out of that until tonight.

A couple of weeks ago I went home to visit my family. We did the usual Cowes Week things - beach barbecue, fireworks, catching up with my oldest friends - while thinking about how it might be very different next year. Dad's retiring, so a lot of things might have changed when I next go back.

One moment stands out though: it was so wonderful to swim in the sea again. It was the first time I've been swimming since... maybe over a year ago? Could be two. A long time. As I squeaked about the cold and inched my way deeper in, my sister said the sea had missed me, that it had been waiting for me to come back.

The thing that surprised me, both tonight and back on the island, was being reminded that there are other people who think like me. Whether it's my friend Zaru encouraging me to perform my poetry soon, or my brother Michael chatting to me about quantum physics, it's been a blessed relief to be around people who are interested in things that interest me. I don't get that at work.

I work with good people, kind people, but I don't have much common ground with them. I know nothing about football or reality TV, and am too scared to go digging for something real to talk about. So I've felt alienated. At first I thought they were a bit weird, but in the absence of anyone with whom to talk about that, the thought gradually became "I am completely abnormal."

Well, normal is all in the context. These people, my family and friends, are the context in which I make sense. They are my normal. They are my home.

Present

I know I ought to write something here, but I can't for the life of me think what. Um. How are you? I'm good.

I've had a very traditional Christmas with my family, received some lovely gifts including a Bill Bailey DVD and the first season of Being Erica (delighted), seen the Tron sequel in 3D twice (veh good), and done precious little of the catching-up-with-friends that I was so looking forward to. And not through lack of lack of trying. I really didn't try at all, I'm not sure why; it's just that when I got here, it didn't seem awfully important. Anyway, I spent a lot of time with my family and got to see my oldest friend a couple of times, so I'm happy.

This is my current favourite video. It makes me gleeful; I hope it does the same for you.



Welcome to 2011, by the way! I think it's safe to say that this will go down in history as the year after 2010.

Wandering away from the wreckage, whistling

Oops.

It turns out I have a remarkable talent for saying exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. It's happened before, sure, but never quite this spectacularly...

One of my housemates (T) has been increasingly difficult to live with lately. Yesterday she stormed in, once again demanded to know "Who's going to do the washing up, then?" (There was hardly anything there, and it had been there a couple of hours at most) and I said "We thought we'd all hold hands and close our eyes and maybe it would do itself." Well. I'm sure you're all thinking the exact same thing I am: "That was very silly, Anna." Yes. Yes it was.

She yelled at me - she yelled at all of us - and I instantly felt guilty. So I went into the kitchen to apologise, but she just wasn't having it. Someone else decided to have a "house discussion" in the hope of airing some of our grudges in a sensible, mature fashion - but T wasn't having that either. Then, the shouting.

I have never heard my housemates so angry, and they're all pretty fiery. Not being great with confrontation, I just sat on the sofa hiding my face and crying while they yelled and stormed and slammed doors and threatened to move out.

Luckily, when everyone had left and I was still shaking and crying on the sofa (what can I say, I'm kind of a wuss), Arthur came in and gave me a hug and talked to me about stuff. That kept me sane. Then, when Ali came downstairs, clearly shocked and upset at what she'd overheard, he did the same for her.

I would have forgiven her, you know. I would. But T has a way of talking herself out of forgiveness. Have you ever heard of a nonpology? In this case, it took the form of "I'm sorry I shouted, I shouldn't have, but you guys REALLY need to start showing more respect and pulling your weight and I won't stand for being treated this way" - with no gap in the interim for me to say a) All is forgiven or b) Kindly attempt cranio-rectal insertion.

I could not be more relieved that I'm going home tomorrow. Sweet, undramatic Isle of Wight - you're always there for me. Happy Christmas, dramahouse.

Today's interesting thing is the BBC interview with Jody McIntyre, the guy I mentioned in this post.

Beep!

Did you miss me? Did you? Oh. Well I missed you, my lovely blog and my lovely blog people! The radio silence is due to me moving house, and then having no internet for a couple of weeks. I'm going home to the Isle of Wight for a long weekend, but hopefully I'll be able to write something a bit more substantial from there!

No spoilers: LOST

There will be reviews of the finale springing up all over the internet in the coming days. They will range from "It was AWFUL" to "it was AWESOME," but that's not what I want to cover here. I want to talk about the part it's played in my life.

One of the main reasons I'm sorry to see Lost go is that it has served as a very effective, if transparent, excuse for hanging out with people I like for many years now. My family got me into it, having decided after the first three episodes that they liked it. I'm sure that, for them, the novelty wore off several seasons ago; and perhaps I'd have lost interest too, if it weren't for Stephen.

Stephen Wills is my honorary big brother. I've known him for my whole life, and craved his approval for about as long; in fact I'd say he was pretty instrumental in inspiring my lifelong love of geeks. I knew him when he was a blond-haired little boy playing with marbles, when he discovered Sonic the Hedgehog, when he was learning to drum and getting girlfriends... I'm a couple of years younger than him, so there was quite a while when we didn't really talk, but then we found out we had Lost in common. For a couple of seasons, my brother and sister and I would go to his flat to watch it with him. Then when he moved back to Newport, and I started doing my gap year work there, I'd watch it alone with him (and believe me, if I'd known how to hit on guys when I was 19, I would have done).

I grew up and moved away, although possibly not in that order; first to Plymouth, where I was alone, and then to Cardiff. In Cardiff I met Dan X. I picked up more or less where I'd left off with Stephen; going round to see him on a weekly basis and watching the latest episode. That's continued, sometimes with more people and sometimes not, right up until tonight. It's one of the things that helped me get to know a few people in Cardiff, so I guess it's one of the reasons this feels like home now.

This obsession has fuelled many discussions with my friends, ranging from vapid soap-opera style drama conversations through to philosophy and metaphysics. I'm helping to indoctrinate my friend Ben into the world of Lost, through which he's getting to know Dan as well. It's good to know that it's still doing that.

So I suppose it's time I found something new to obsess over. Any suggestions?

Kawaii LOST - Hurley and Smokey, originally uploaded by Jerrod Maruyama.

What I love most about rivers

Last night was an interesting one. I'm home on the Isle of Wight with my family, and I finally managed to get a visit home to coincide with Catalyst.

Catalyst is a Christian worship event for young people, run by a charity I used to work for. It's always had such an incredible atmosphere, and it's run by wonderful people that I was lucky enough to work with in my gap year. The kids at the event are people I've grown up with, some of whom I'm related to (part of living on quite a small island - you're guaranteed to keep meeting the same people over and over again!), so it was amazing to see them all. I got plenty of hugs and photos!

It's crazy to think that I haven't been a part of Catalyst for two years. Everyone's growing up! The quiet, shy kids who'd just started high school are turning into confident young adults, and I'm kind of sorry I wasn't there to see it happen. There were a lot of new faces and a lot of friends missing... I guess it's true what they say, that you can never really go back.

But despite the hard times in my life lately, I wouldn't want to go back. I'm happy in Cardiff, and very much in love with my wonderful man (wish him luck, by the way, he's climbing mountains for a mate's stag party and I'm suitably worried). There have been a lot of teething troubles in the past few months, but I'm getting stronger and bolder by the day. So today, surrounded by the people and places of my past, I'm looking to the future more than ever.

I'm going to visit my sister, so I might not get online this week (whimper!) but you can always follow my Twitter if you want to check that I'm not dead.

Interesting thing of the day: My Name is Sylar! Quick and funny.

And oh I do love Sylar. Why is it always the psychos that have the most appeal?! Psychos and vampires.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch

One of my youth leaders used to say that all the time. Whenever we'd gone a bit off-course or crazy, we'd be dragged back to this proverbial ranch in order to continue with the plan. So here I am, back with my family, on the Isle of Wight, hoping to get back on track.

Before I left Cardiff, Gavin and I were lucky enough to see Wales vs. New Zealand at the Millennium Stadium. I was very excitable, pointing everything out to G as if I'd never left my little island before. Sadly my camera's batteries died very early on so I only got two or three pictures, but here followeth an account.

We found our way through the crowds to the stadium, stopping to buy hotdogs and drinks on the way. When in Rome, as they say! After finding our seats without too much trouble, we sat down and waited for half an hour or so as I got increasingly excited by everything around me.

"Whoooaahhhh it's so BIG in here! It's like really big! Gav, look! There's a hole in the roof! Oooh look a brass band. Who do you reckon those men are? Oh my gosh listen to them sing, they're singing! It's so beautiful! Whooo!"

Gav: "You don't whoooo at a rugby match."

"Why not?"

"It's not the done thing. It's embarrassing."

"But I want to whoooo...."

The stadium got more and more filled up as we watched the All-Blacks warming up on the pitch. (The Welsh side having presumably gone for a pint.) Eventually the Welsh side put on a delightful little fashion show - posing in their red kit before changing into grey for reasons unbeknownst to me - and started warming up too.

Then, the BBC Sports personality of the year, Joe Calzaghe, walked out onto the pitch to frantic applause.

Gav (standing): "YEAHHHHH WHOOOOOO"

Me: *smug grin*

G: "Shut up."

Things began with national anthems, and shooting pillars of flame, and the All-Blacks doing their awesome warrior dance. Why don't any other teams have awesome dances? The English team could do Morris dancing. It would be ace.

The game itself was as thrilling as anything can be when you don't fully understand it. I don't know why the referee stops play 95% of the time, but that didn't stop me from gasping and cheering and applauding with everyone else when things got exciting. Wales were ahead at half time, as Gav and I got another hotdog each, but by the time we got back Wales had blown it.

To be fair, the better team won: they'd been neater, better organised, throughout. Still. I was very glad to have the opportunity to see that game.



I don't know what I'm going to be doing down here this week, but I'll keep you updated. I'm going out for a meal with ma famille now, so... I'll catch you later!

Oh lucky me!

Gav emailed me the other day asking if I wanted to go in for a raffle to win some rugby tickets. I said yes, and we won! Hooray! That means that I'm gonna see Wales play the All-Blacks at the Millennium Stadium on Saturday. This is very exciting because it's going to be the first time I've willingly witnessed a sporting event live - or seen rugby live for that matter.

Every now and then I slip back into my island-girl mindset and I'm amazed by the things I have access to that I just didn't growing up. Electricity, healthcare... no, I jest; the Isle of Wight isn't as backwards as everybody thinks, it's just smaller and safer. But there are things I didn't discover until fairly late in my youth.


A few years ago, my aunt got me a pizza with a yummy sauce instead of tomato paste for the base. I made a mental note that when I moved away from home, I'd search for this pizza, because it was most probably the best I'd ever had! Y'see we didn't have Dominoes. Nope, not even one, not on the whole island. Or a Burger King, although this was no great loss to me as I'm a McDonald's gal.

We didn't have rugby, for some reason,and we didn't have silent discos. We didn't have - (snicker) - Organised Football Violence. I only discovered the existence of this utterly bizarre concept in the past couple of days. I don't think I've laughed so hard in ages!

Here's the idea. Some people, right, get into groups based on what football team they support. And, they, like, meet up with other opposing teams. And they fight! They fight each other! Organisedly! They wear special clothes that sound like they make them look like post-apocalyptic gangs! And they fight! Ok, explaining it to you it probably doesn't sound that funny, but I was creasing up. Apparently it's surprising that I've never heard of this phenomenon before.

Anyway, other good things that happened today include buying something very nice and meeting a snake. Fell asleep during Lost round Dan's, so I should get a reasonably early night in order to *gulp* face tomorrow...

Love! x

Oh! And an interesting thing: this man can do things with a sheet of A4 that I couldn't have dreamed of. Truly incredible art.

Smiths, Geeks and Furniture

Back home on the Isle of Wight, I knew a girl, D. Smith. Her mother's maiden name was Smith, and it amused me greatly that her parents could have hyphenated their surnames into Smith-Smith when they got married.

D got engaged to a young man by the name of T Smith, thus opening up the possibility of a Smith-Smith-Smith union... an opportunity passed up by D, but not by her brother, J. J married miss C Smith, so they could have been Mr J and Mrs C Smith-Smith-Smith. However, in the interest of minimising paperwork and avoiding ridicule, they all stuck as Smith. What a waste.

Back when I was doing my Theology course, the 2 hours of travel on a Monday morning left me with a lot of time to think. My friends and I once spent a happy hour working out who I'd have to marry and divorce in order to get the name Anna Rose-Smith-Smith-Rose. I will most likely never get that name, and this saddens me.

- - -

I've recently been reading a lot by Wil Wheaton. Here's a sample of his style, as he recounts his take as an adult watching himself in Star Trek as a teenager.

Riker looks around the bridge, sees all the commissioned officers he has available to him, does a quick scan of the ship's manifest to see who's on duty . . . and decides to send Wesley Freakin' Crusher to "discreetly" sneak a peek at Data. Worf says, "Uh, excuse me, Commander, but since I'm kind of in the security department and all, and I'm a big old Klingon, shouldn't maybe I go check this out?"

Riker replies, "I'm not going to lie to you, Worf: we all know that if there's anything funky going on down there, you're just going to get your ass kicked. So I'm sending the Boy Wonder and his giant brain instead."

Wesley jumps up from his console and shouts, "Wheee! I'm in Starfleet!" as he skips to the turbolift.

Read more of his memories on the set of The Next Generation here, I thoroughly recommend it!

My recent journeys through his blog have convinced me that he's a remarkably intelligent, humble man with a keen sense of humour, so I've bought his book 'Just a Geek'. Expect a review on that soon, I'm certainly enjoying it so far!

- - -

Today's interesting thing is WebUrbanist. I've been browsing for a bit being amazed at bookshelves - sounds dull, I know, but I'm very impressed with the originality and ingenuity of the designs. This one, for example, is built into a staircase:


There's plenty more on convertible furniture and recycled art, if you're into that sort of thing.

PS. I see from the poll that you guys are ALL ABOUT the button-clicking, so expect more polls whenever I can think of something!

Back from the island

So the past few days since returning from my beloved Isle have been... fairly dull, I suppose. So I won't bore you with that and will instead tell you about my weekend.

I was home on the Isle of Wight with my wonderfully odd family and my oddly wonderful boyfriend (whom I shall no longer refer to as the boy for the sake of clarity and suchlike). We went to Ventnor Botanic gardens which was amazing. It's one of the more beautiful places on the island, which is saying something; and because I've been there every year for as long as I can remember, I wanted to take Gavin there and show him all the pretty secret places we've found over time.

There was a point on the Saturday when I realised just how idyllic and chocolate-box perfect my childhood was. We were walking down an aisle, with the noises of some mans playing football in the field on the left, birds singing in the trees on the right, and church bells chiming up ahead. I miss my home.

Sunday was all about running through the woods shooting people with laser guns. Or in my case, standing in the base waiting for a rush that never came. I was SO COLD!

The following are various pretty pictures I took over the weekend:






Interesting thing of the day (you can now find all past ITOTD items on the left-hand column): Spin the black circle. Totally addictive, very clever idea.