In a bit of an odd mood, if I'm honest. After a pretty awesome and sociable day, I seem to have plunged into the post-midnight blues. I was having fun with my friends, talking and eating and watching silly videos on youtube, when I realised that whatever it is I'm looking for wasn't in the room.
Once you've realised that, trying to be funny or score hugs off people seems a bit irrelevant, really; so instead I just emoed off home and now here I am.
By myself.
In my room.
Still not entirely sure what I was looking for in the first place.
Bear
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
Emo is a verb now
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I emo, therefore I am.
ReplyDeleteIt's frustrating when something like that happens, as you can't focus on anything else, and you become acutely aware that people will notice and ask you about something you don't know the answer to and all the focus turns to something you don't want to be focussed upon so you high-tail it, possibly feeling you don't want to put a damper on proceedings.
When we try and figure it out we look in the wrong places; is it some unrealised ambition you can't put your finger on? Is it a someone that's missing? Some form of companionship that your craving? Something you should have done or should be doing instead of socialising?
It all adds up to distract you from the truth of what's really missing.
Jelly.
What we never knew we needed is there, in the fridge, ready to wobble and maybe contain bits of fruit to fill that gap in the heart of our true desires.
Hope you find out what you're looking for, Anna.
Because they keep bloody moving it to a new aisle.
Being with people and connecting only serves to remind of what isn't there when you inevitably part. This is a very familiar experience to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm told that finding someone special and settling down is the only cure...the search continues.
Alone in the company of people. These things happen, and they suck. But time will pass, and you'll forget about it, and then something amazing and distracting will happen!
ReplyDeleteI hope you are soon distracted and amazed.
Thanks Andrew. I promise my blog isn't usually this self-pitying. Not that it isn't EVER, just not usually! ;)
ReplyDeleteWe all have off days, part of the deal, unless you are perfect, but then you are no fun either. Emoed is a good verb.
ReplyDelete