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Friday, 18 July 2008

Morning sounds

I wrote this at the beginning of June. It was while my blog was deleted, or I would have posted it sooner...

It's late at night. The seagulls are playing outside my window, screaming at each other. My housemate's fucking some girl. Doesn't matter who, it's not about her. If that man could fuck a mirror he'd do it. There's a cat wailing at the pre-dawn chorus, and the gentle hum of my laptop. There are sounds.

The wind picks up, or maybe it's a car far off; either way it gets me thinking about leaving. I'm counting down the days until that fresh sea breeze blows me out of this ruin, this dead city. Dead to me anyway.

Nobody emails you at a quarter past four in the morning.

I look past my curtain to an inky-purple sky. Strange, that. The moment I turn my light off, I know it will change to a muddy streetlight orange. How can the same sky be orange and purple at the same time? Somewhere else it's blue, somewhere else it's grey. At this moment, somebody somewhere is watching the sun set. Or rise. Or just lying on their back listening to the stars sing.

My shelves are empty. The floor is still a mess, I still have clothes everywhere, but my books are gone from sight until I unpack properly. That might not be for months. The birds are going crazy now, singing with all the breath in their fragile feathered chests. Can they really sing with such joy and passion every single morning? Do they ever sleep in?

I sleep in when I can. Long past noon. Even when I wake up I don't move from my bed for hours, not if I can help it. I can't help feeling that if I had a dawn chorus to be part of, there'd be a reason to get up early.

But here, in the pre-dawn gloom, I hear the hurried pad of feet; somebody wants to get home quickly. And why not run? Waddle, flap, skip as much as you want. Run slowly and awkwardly if that's how you run. Who's going to see you?

How can I go to sleep when there's so much happening! I'll regret it tomorrow when I face the disappointed voice of the one man I never want to disappoint, but for now as the sky pales I like to be aware and awake again. It doesn't happen often. That's why I'm not succumbing to sleep; not yet.

While you're here, I'd like to recommend Girl Genius, an utterly fantastic gaslight fantasy comic that I've been absorbed in for the past few days. Or if you just want a highly addictive flash game, try this one out for size. They'll both be going up on my "interesting thing of the day" link list to the left, so don't forget to check that out if you've got time to kill.

1 comment:

  1. tis indeed highly addictive, but i won! yay! i never finish games!!

    hope you are ok :) xx


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