In need of a redesign since 2011.

Thursday, 15 May 2008

So there I was, in my bikini...

In my defence, it could have happened to anyone.

I was in Gav's apartment doing some housework when there was a knock on the window. A knock on the window means one thing: that Gav's home; so I went bounding outside all excited to help him with his bike, and to show him the skimpy bikini and miniskirt that I'd bought that morning. I forgot to put the latch on, but that's ok, because he has the keys.

It wasn't him.

It was his landlady.

I haven't told you much about the landlady, but she's an interesting character. She's been known to come into the apartment with no warning, complain about the bicycle, and ask him if he's got a girlfriend to clean for him, and if he could get her to come round more often. I was in the bedroom on the computer at the time, ready with a "Hi!" and a cheery wave when she poked her nose around the door. That was bad enough. This was quickly to become far, far worse.

I let her in, embarrassed by the situation already, and believe me it got a LOT worse! She made polite conversation for a bit, talked about the paint that had been chipped off the banister by Gav's bike, and then the crashing realisation came that I was outside a locked apartment with no keys, phone, shoes, or dignity.

I had to mention this to her in the hope that she'd have her keys. She always brings her keys with her, she said, except for this once, what a terrible coincidence, and she'd forgotten to bring her phone, and oh dear, when was Gav going to be back?

It was quarter to 7 at the time, and he was going to be home any time between half 7 and 8, so I told her that I'd happily wait in the hallway, that I'd be absolutely fine to wait, no really I would. She wouldn't hear of it. "That could be over an hour! Oh no, we can't have that. I'll have to go back to Newport to get them, and you'll have to come with me."

I was very very worried. If Gav came home to find the lights and radio on but me vanished without a trace, what would he think? So I insisted that I should stay put. "Leave him a note", she said, and I gave her a look of desperation that conveyed the message 'this miniskirt does not conceal a stationery set', so she passed me an envelope and a pen. and told me to write that I've gone to Newport with Mrs ********. This I obligingly did, and tucked it in the doorframe over the keyhole so that he'd definitely see it.

I left the corridor and closed the front door behind me, thinking 'well, it's too late to go back now', and padded barefoot to her car. I sat with my arms crossed casually across my chest while we made polite conversation about Venice; and how girls should be taught to cook and clean at school; and how one of her tenants was a lovely lady, a professor, intelligence runs in the genes of that family, but she was going to marry a woman. Well, I mean honestly, have you ever heard the like. And so on.

So there I was in my bikini. Desperately trying to appear respectable and respectful, and no doubt failing miserably. Telling her about university, answering her questions about whether Gavin and I were serious (we are. As you must know by now.)

Anyway eventually the cruel and unusual torture ended; we got back to Cardiff and back to the building, and she unlocked the door for me, complaining that the coffee waiting for her upstairs was no doubt stewed by now, because she made real coffee of course...

So I went inside

And I sat down

And I giggled and roffled to my little heart's content.

I mean, yes it was humiliating, but you have to laugh or you'd just die of shame! Instead, it has to be a little victory, an example of overcoming overwhelming something-or-other and coming out stronger (and much amused) the other side.

That evening, Gavin and I went to Jenni's house to watch The Apprentice with a few friends. He started a couple of conversations with "Guess what Anna did today", but bless his heart, he was more shocked than angry. Thanks goodness he tolerates my extreme sillies!

I won't make that mistake again. I'm thinking of having a tongue piercing that I could put the keyring through.

Not really.

Interesting thing of the day: animals on the underground! (Remember, all past ITOTDs are available in a list to the left.)


  1. OMG animals on the underground! That's AMAZING!

    I never ever ever leave the house without my keys. Ever. Hence why this has never happened :D. You poor thing, it sounds horrid it really does.

  2. Ha, Thats funny. You could wear skirts that are long enough to have pockets, then you could never forget your key.

  3. hahahahaha! and I want to ride the elephant

  4. :O
    anna, i have to write a comment to apologise since i just read that and giggled my socks off!
    poor you! i can picture every moment of it and it sounds like one of those surreal experiences that you keep telling yourself must be a dream.

    hehe i'm sorry for laughing but it sounds hilarious.
    hope you're ok, chat soon xxx

  5. hahah that's quite alright! The first thing I did when I got in was have a good giggle at it all!

  6. Hey Anna!

    Thanks for commenting on my blog - my replies to you are not mere reciprocating your nice thought but really, I do enjoy reading your blog!!

    Your funny incident reminded me of my "un-glam" moments as well! I left my keys at home - and ended up sleeping out in the open as though I was homeless before! =) Your story is more exciting though! haha =)

    I see that you have a count-down to your moving to Cardiff! Hope you have loads of fun moving over! =)

  7. Ah, the bikini moment - although at least you were wearing that.

    Ever flashed someone else by accident thinking it was your boyfriend? ;)

  8. Not yet! Hahaha, now there's one to tell the grandkids ;) Thanks for stopping by, Jet! x

  9. First time i clicked on blogs of note, and i wasn't disappointed! That bikini incident was hilarious!

  10. Tristan, you laugh at my pain? Yeah, so did I. You think that's bad you should search for the time I threw up on the vicar...

  11. A similar thing happened to me while getting some post only i was in a towel. Not a good thing as it seems there are like a million people around at just the wrong time to see you lol.

  12. I found the vicar one! I imagine you throwing up during mass!

    Couldn't help but read the girl stuff below it check this
    do ctrl f "God i need to vent" read her girly situation...

    All this laughing at your expense makes me feel unfair towards you, thus i'll share a

    I am on a date. Dimmed lights, candles, very romantic. Suddenly shes giggling and says 'hey your sparkling!' I looked at my arm, she was right. I looked like a pop star with tons of body glitter on!
    I had picked up some moisterizer in the morning could that be it? When i got home i read the label:

    Burts Bees Radiance Body Lotion with Royal Jelly and natural Mica.

    I couldn't be bothered to return it, and i didn't want to waste it either... :P

  13. Hahah thanks Tristan. Even I feel a bit too girly when I wear glitter! Nothing wrong with having a few embarrassing memories though; they make the best stories.

  14. I've done some pretty stupid things, too. I've locked my keys in the car when it was running! My husband had to come home from work to shut the car off for me. Boy was that embarrassing!

    I'm glad you were able to get the landlady to bring you back home safely.

  15. New to your spot....liked what I've read so far. Good story. Charming, quirky, and REAL!! Kudos

  16. First time I've come across your blog, this was hilarious! Although I do feel a little bad at laughing at the mishaps of a stranger... Nevermind. I had a similar event a year or so ago, although mine involved a re-entering attempt through a much too small window in a much too small skirt, it was a proud moment. Anywho, very funny, I'll deffinatly keep reading :)

  17. The Weed, please do laugh, otherwise it was an experience wasted!


Do you have relevant / irrelevant things to say? I thought so. Comment!