My First Dates

I could, admittedly, have updated my blog a bit more frequently lately. I'm sorry. I have to make a definite effort to break out of the mentality that Cardiff = holiday. But instead of telling you all what I've been up to (I'll leave that for when I'm back in Plymouth), I thought I'd tell you what my previous first dates have been like.

In one word?

Accidental.

I don't have an awful lot of experience with dating, as I'm sure you're aware, but I have been mercilessly tricked into two dates, admittedly through some carelessness on my part, and the annoying thing is that they both sucked.

The first was with a friend; he'd arranged for a bunch of us to go to the cinema together to see troy, or so I thought. It turned out it was just the two of us, and he insisted on paying, and since he'd decided to get 'deluxe' tickets I reluctantly let him. Now, as a first date with somebody you're not actually interested in, the cinema is pretty good. You don't - in fact, can't - make conversation, but if you're interested enough to hang around for coffee afterwards there's an obvious topic for conversation. This date was a disaster, and to this day I've never seen the last half-hour of that film.

The second first date was in a similar vein. I met a guy at a party and gave him my number (never done that before, most likely never will again. I'm not adventurous in that respect). He worked at the cinema and got me in for free, although I can't recall what we saw. It was ok, and I could talk to him, but there was no real interest, so I took evasive action. I asked if he wanted to meet me again at Soul Cafe (i.e. with other people around and plenty of things to do rather than talk). He did, he came, he got talking to a friend of mine, she got baptised as a Mormon in his church and they're getting married. So, y'know, that was a win.

My third was an altogether more positive experience. I was already most definitely interested in the man in question and he was almost certainly interested in me - a given for most dates, perhaps, but not from my experience as you've seen! Again it was sort of accidental. It was a spontaneous decision.

Basically, we'd gone to a hip-hop festival. There were some amazing breakdancers, but you can only watch that for so long before you start getting bored, and it was one of about three beautifully sunny days that summer, so we went outside and hung around the park. We ended up lying down and hugging in the sunshine, and walking across stepping stones to go around the inside of a water fountain that was throwing up rainbows into the air. We went back into the venue to watch some MC-ing, but then, again, we got fed up with watching grown men cuss out each other's clothing and calling each other gay. So we went to get some food, which sort of became a date, except I wasn't really sure if it was a date. But it was. I think.

We went into a noodle bar and sat down opposite each other, which suited me fine as I got to look into his eyes. Blue. They hit me like a train when he took off his glasses, and I'm pretty sure I went pinker every time he looked at me. The only reason I remember the food at all is because I had so much trouble with it! I'd never used chopsticks before, and surely they're not the best implement for eating soup with anyway?, but he showed me how to use them and I clumsily got as much of the chicken down me as I could. I couldn't finish it. In fact I don't think I finished a meal with him for the first few months, my appetite and my nerves being what they were.

It was unlike any previous date I'd had in that a) I wanted to be there, and b) there was a second date!

Here's a picture from that day...




I never wrote about it because it was quickly eclipsed by drama and confusion, but that day, along with many others with him, still stays bright and shiny throughout a year of greys and rain.