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Tuesday 20 November 2007

Jeffers

I'm updating my blog for two reasons; firstly, it was requested; secondly, I was mere moments away from doing it anyway; and thirdly I have something vaguely interesting to write about. I know I said two, it doesn't matter, pay attention.

There is a mouse in our house. Somebody arbitrarily called him Geoffrey, but we all call him Jeffers now. He's been living here almost as long as we have, so it's got to the point where it would be awkward to ask him to move out, you know? He keeps himself to himself, is very rarely seen, mostly stays out of everyone's way; but occasionally someone will point excitedly towards the kitchen and leap out of their seat, attention suddenly diverted from Jeremy Kyle's pearls of wisdom, and say "I just saw Jeffers!"

I've only seen him once, a brief glimpse of his furry hindquarters disappearing behind the freezer.

He's truly a remarkable rodent. Lives on air, apparently, since there's absolutely no food kept at ground level and we're generally very tidy. (Unusual for a student house, but Ben is Very Neat, fortunately for us.)

The plan was originally to have him killed. Which is, of course, the rational thing to do with vermin. But this isn't vermin, it's Jeffers, and I readily confess that I'd quite like the little chap to stay around. Thankfully he went missing presumed dead for a few weeks after that idea was suggested. Oh yes; Jeffers is smart.
That's been downgraded to the idea of a humane trap now, which I'm much more keen on.

Tonight was the most he's ever been sighted; Michelle saw him vanish behind the fridge, and Ben and David were kind of gently poking things with spatulas to see if he was behind them. There was a rather fantastic moment when he showed himself and Ben yelped. I'm jealous, I want to meet him. I want to hold him the way I used to hold the voles and fieldmice and shrews we used to see back in the days of science camp (it wasn't as geeky as it sounds, mostly we lay around in hammocks or watching sunsets from the cliff-edge). Holding rodents is amazing because their little hearts beat so fast that they actually vibrate.

I don't know whether it's wise to tell my boy that we have a mouse this way. He's been round ours for the weekend before but I'd honestly forgotten about Jeffers, his appearances are that rare. But I took Dave texting me saying I should update my blog as a green light, so here it is. Honey, I'm really looking forward to seeing you this weekend, I hope you don't mind the mouse.

7 comments:

  1. I killed a mouse once. I moved into a very dodgy house in Cardiff, all cash in hand but very cheap. It was a bit of a strange place with ornaments everywhere and a crazy landlady who kept lots of yappy little dogs and dressed like a faded movie star crossed with Barbara Cartland.

    I kept glimpsing something moving, and eventually spoke to my landlady, who supplied me with a mousetrap and poison.

    I returned from work to find a small, adorable animal with a broken back slowly dying in the mousetrap. I immediately grabbed my bokken (Aikido training weapon, basically a wooden sword) and tearfully yet frenziedly bludgeoned it to make sure it was dead.

    I moved out soon after. I don't ever want to have to do that again.

    Be aware, however, that mice/rats are vermin, and do carry diseases. It's best to remove them from the house if you can.

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  2. i'm not wanting to spoil the wise words from gav, but i think jeffers sounds cute! :)

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  3. hmm well I'm afraid I'm agreeing with Gav. We discovered today that he can get up on the kitchen surfaces which is Not Ok. It's the hole gnawed into a loaf of bread through the plastic that gave it away.

    Jeffers, now you have gone TOO FAR. :(

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  4. Perhaps you need an incompetent cat and a handy array of saucepans?

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  5. Yes, and a small chair for standing on and hitching up my skirts. I shall order them off Acme's website immediately!!

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  6. Maybe he can't get on the surfaces? Maybe one of your roommates has a real hunger for bread, but only teeny tiny teeth? It could be really embarrassing, and you've gone and humiliated him to the world.

    Meanie.

    -FT xxx

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  7. You mentioned Newtown! Nice plug. Btw it's 50 years this year so you'd better be willing to visit.

    I want to meet Jeffers. So does Kodi. :P

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