Bear
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Friday 5 November 2010

Tense

I am extremely stressed today. I don't usually get angry, but a combination of factors have led to me being ready to snap at someone. I don't want to get snappy, I want to be happy and relaxed. That would be nice.

I've lit candles, I'm burning incense, and the living room is atmospherically lit. I put some reggae on and tried to work out why I'm in such an awful mood.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine about those vague, non-specific but utterly soul-crushing moments of gloom and despondency that seem to come out of nowhere. I talked about how you try to work out when it started, and usually it's one sentence or one look or one event that sets you on a negative path and your mood just gets worse from there. That's what happened today.

I've been having a lot of dreams all focussed around the same theme lately (I won't go into specifics, but suffice it to say that it's broadly superego vs. id). This morning's dream consisted of someone I like berating me for my behaviour; clearly a guilt dream, and one that had me feeling like the Worst Person (tm) for my first few waking moments. This is probably why I'm feeling all cross. Great! So, I understand it... but it still isn't going away.

This is worse than I thought. Send kitties.

4 comments:

  1. as requested...

    Go find some leaves and kick them up, it can be terribly therapeutic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/knitted_kitteh.jpg

    WOOK AT THE WIDDLE KITTY!!

    That is to say, hope things cheer up soon :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Certainly!

    Presumably hoping she's not the next cushion, mwuhahahaha! :-D

    ReplyDelete

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