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Sunday 7 June 2009

Friends like these

Stupid changeable weather.

There comes a point, on days like this, when the abruptness of the weather change makes you question your choice of clothes. For me, today, it was at about the point the rain turned my t-shirt seethrough.

On the plus side, I did meet a lot of friendly people on the way home!

Speaking of friendly people, I was trying to explain Twitter to Ross last night. We were trying to explain to Dan why friendships with people you'd never met were perfectly valid and rewarding, and he raised the very interesting argument that I could be going out and meeting real people in the real world. Which is, of course, a perfectly valid point, and therefore made me want to cry and hit him with the keyboard until he stopped twitching.

Because, I mean, it was all very well being the introvert when I lived in Plymouth. Understandable, if not excusable. But now that I've moved to the promised land, why does it still feel so far beyond my reach to actually meet people by myself?

Well, the answer's obvious really. I'm horribly insecure. I don't really feel worthy of the friends I do have, and the thought of trying to make more is as daunting a prospect as it was when I was nine.

So! Food for thought there, for me anyway. Hope you're all well.

11 comments:

  1. Hi Anna

    I agree that online friendships are as valid although different from real-life friendships.

    The idea that it's a zero-sum game between online relationships and meeting "real" people in the "real" world is a false dichotomy perpetuated by technophobes and Luddites in a superior and self-satisfied attempt to make people who use Twitter et al feel inadequate and inferior. It sounds as if, for a moment, you allowed Dan to do that to you. He owes you an apology.

    And you owe him a keyboard in the teeth.

    Dave

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  2. sometimes you just need someone to ''talk'' to. it's all good, ya know? take good care and smile today......make that every day, bye 4 now, jack c

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  3. Hahah Dave, you are eloquence itself. However, it wouldn't have bugged me so much unless there were a grain of truth to it. I do need to find new ways to meet people, and I do need to spend less time online... although the suggestion to go clubbing met with my icy stare of death.

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  4. It surprises me that you are insecure, since the voice that comes through in your writing is quite assured / energetic / full of twinkly life. I suspect that if you are able to be in the right kinds of contexts (definitely NOT clubbing) that this lovely vitality would shine through. Where do the people that you find vitalizing tend to congregate? Go there!

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  5. I just loved:
    '...the rain turned my t-shirt see through... I made lots of friends on the way home!...'

    Sorry you're having a sucky time. x

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  6. He's right, you know - real friends are the dog's.

    Go out and charm the world. Wear that T-Shirt every time it rains. Some of those smiling folks are bound to like what comes next, as well.

    But don't *completely* neglect all of us here in your virtual toybox, will you? ;-)

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  7. Hi, Anna! I just saw you at Poetic Justice. It's so nice to meet you. It makes me sad to read about your insecurity. My comments over at Poetic Justice sound like you. Try to lick it while you're young. Easier said than done, huh? But you ARE worthy. Keep in touch, and we'll chat. I'll hop around your site and see what you have. It looks beautiful:)

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  8. Julie, thank you very much for commenting! I'm looking forward to seeing what Poetic Justice is like. I'm also checking out Able Muse, but best not tell anyone... I dont want to get shot for mutiny before I even begin ;) x x

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  9. Last Sunday really was wierd in weather down in Hertfordshire too.

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  10. Hey Anna.
    I'm glad I know you in real life. Life is generally a whole lot easier and more agreeable with friends. I like online-firends, but real tangible human flesh & blood fiends are probably better still.
    I can be insecure too, but I have gradually got better; or at least more fed-up with my insecurities and prepared to talk to people. And generally, it works out ok. I might even make a new friend.

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  11. A word from Dan to Dave:

    No offense intended old chum. I'm not pooh-poohing all online relationships. Indeed, I have a few very good friends of my own that I've met online - from chatrooms, blogs, forums, and social networking sites. I'm definitely not a technophobe or a Luddite (indeed, I'm terribly addicted to Facebook), and whilst I am superior and self-satisfied, it's not because other people use Twitter.

    My point is that while online friends can tick some of the boxes, and tick them very well, real friends ("real" not meant disparagingly, just to provide distinction) can provide you with things that online friends can't. Things that a person needs in order to develop socially. Things like physical contact, body language, the sound of a voice or of someone's laughter, the sight of a genuine smile. All the viral videos, Facebook pokes, blog comments, and emoticons in the world can't make up for that.

    Also I'd like to add that as a "real world" friend of Anna's, I can confidently state that she has no reason whatsoever to be insecure, as she's lovely.

    So Dave, don't be such a self-satisfied technophile ;)

    And Anna: Get confident, stupid!

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