A rant.

Can you believe what happened yesterday?! Can you believe they tried the SAME DAMN THING again?! Dear terrorists, you've tried it, you've failed, now bugger off.

Sorry for the language, I'm usually quite good with that sort of thing, but this is a unique situation. My sister's up there. I realise that shouldn't affect how I feel about it, but it does.

I feel so sorry for the people who think that the only way they can get their god's love is by blowing themselves up. I'm struggling to feel sorry for them, to be honest, but it's not fair to dehumanise them. I f I don't understand them as humans, I can't accuse them of anything. It would be like accusing a rock that fell on someone's head. No, these are humans with family and feelings and reasons for what they did, but understand this. Those reasons are NOT GOOD ENOUGH and what they have done is... I'm tempted to say unforgiveable. I won't, though. Sigh. I'm confused.

I'd even forgotten about it the past few days. I've been having fun. School's out, I've been spending time with my friends, playing stupid games, and generally getting on with life. It's not been that easy for the people who were more closely affected by things, though. Some people won't be able to ignore it for a long time.

And now they've tried the same damn thing two weeks after the first attack. But it didn't work, did it. Hah. Now bugger off.

Which is about bombs, Guildford and two chance encounters.

As you are all no doubt aware, Thursday saw some scary stuff. Four bombs; three on the underground and one on the no. 30 bus. I heard all this when I was at school, and it terrified me; my sister works there. So I got home as quickly as possible, praying like crazy that she would be ok. I got in to find a message on the answerphone, "Don't worry, I'm fine..." I missed the rest, I was just so relieved to hear those words. "I'm fine"; thank God. Then mum came in the door telling me that my sister and my aunt were both ok. It's near enough to a miracle; my sister was ill that morning, otherwise she might have been there. It's a scary thought. And my aunt, Sarah, goes that way most days; about one day a fortnight she doesn't take that route, and thank God that was Thursday. That left me pretty rattled. I still can't believe it. Most importantly, I can't think of who did it. I'm treating it in my mind like a natural disaster, like the tsunami; something you can't hate and can't get angry at. I just can't begin to understand people doing this; it doesn't make sense.

Friday was interesting too. I was going to go midnight shopping, but it never happened; instead we just hung around outside Bogeys talking to people and trying to make decisions. I mentioned my stress the previous day over my sister, and the guy I was talking to (Rob) said "Who, Naomi?" I said "Yeah, ... hang on..." and then I said the words I've said so many times: "How do you know my sister?" Turns out they knew each other at school, and worked together on Romeo and Juliet. I remember seeing that; he was Parras. I was 13 at the time. Dude, that's trippy.

Saturday, we went to Guildford. Hoorah! Sunny and exotic Guildford! That's what I always call it when other people are talking about what Caribbean islands they've been to. They think I'm kidding. But seriously, once again the weather was utterly perfect for us, sunshine all weekend. Anyway, we were there for my aunt's (Rebecca this time) birthday party. It was brilliant! We played an embarrasing game called musical newspaper, which is great fun. When the music stops you have to stand on scraps of newspaper that get smaller each time... it's difficult to remain aloof when you're clinging on to a random stranger's waist for support. And the music
was brilliant; we were dancing for hours, utterly crazy stuff. And our new uncle Hugh (11 months now, but he's still the newest one we've got) was breakdancing truly brilliantly. I swear, I still don't know how it's physically possible to jump in slow motion, but he did it. And he sang to Rebecca. Ahhhhhh.

The next day is today; we went to their church (which I nearly fell asleep in repeatedly), then it was a few more hours at Rebs and Hugh's place, then we went home. Oh, and I told Naomi about Rob. She told me... some stuff... and to say hi. On the ferry home, my imagination was doing the strange. I was doing "what-ifs" in my head, including what if Matt was on this boat? I knew he was coming back to the island any day now. But that was a one in a hundred chance, so I didn't pursue that too far.

Then I saw somebody who looked like Matt's brother Jonathan. My train of thought went as follows:
Hey, he looks like Jonathan.
What would he be doing here? Can't be.
That looks like Mr. Reading.
And that, as far as I can remember, looks like their mum.It's definitely them.Therefore, that is the back of Matt's head.
Help. What do I do?!

I have heard that "what-ifs" are meant to prepare us for stuff that might happen, but it all seemed a bit far-fetched. Well, there ya go. It was nice to have a quick chat with him, anyway.

But anyway, I have been in so many situations like that that just make the world feel so tiny. Everybody knows everybody else! I can't meet one random person (i.e. Rob) without there being at least one connection to somebody else I know.I should be used to it by now, really.

Also, I can't believe I fancy a guy who was in school with my sister and has a kid.

TODAY'S WISDOM: The problem nowadays is that if you tell somebody that television rots their brain, they'll say "You know, you're right!" and then they'll change the channel.

Which tells of mental confusion, social division, and my impending marriage to a celebrity.

What a crazy few days. Aside from all the craziness that's been happening inside my head, there's been a few interesting things happening outside of it too.

London have got the Olympics in 2012 - by which time I'll be 24. Scary much?!

I hope the G8 summit went/is going well (I'm not too sure how thing are chronologically.)

I've bought the DVD of Long Way Round, the motorbike adventure with Ewan McGregor (who, by the way, I'm going to marry when I invent time travel) and Ewan McGregor's mate (Charlie Boorman). Ewan seems genuinely lovely and funny and interesting - and cute - so yeah, I'm going to marry him. Alright so he's rich and famous, but you can't have everything can you.

I was talking about the craziness inside my head. I have no clue what's going on in there! It's all scary and confusing. I kind of think it's male-related, though which one and why I'm not sure. It could be one of any number of blokes - or, indeed, all of them. I'll get back to you.

Hey, look, I'm blonde. Sorry, I'm not used to it. I've always been semi-blonde and occasionally (like when I wear black or purple) I realise how blondish it actually is. Sorry. Ok. Hair-related rant over.

Things at school are mucho confusing. There are social problems, divisions, petty rivalries... we're usually a good bunch with that sort of thing but it's all gone a little bit funny. I think a few people blame Big Brother. We watch the stupid arguments, then re-enact them ourselves; it's ridiculous. I hope it's sorted by the holidays, otherwise only some will be invited to various parties over the summer and it'll make things worse... dire predictions, maybe, but probably right.

I'm always right, it's sickening. Every time I make a prediction - usually under the label of 'worst case scenario' - it happens. That's why pessimists are always so depressed, they know they're right!

I cannot summon the enthusiasm for school at the moment. We've done our exams, please let us go! It's not fair. Most people have time off after exams, we just roll right on to A2.

I am in stupid need of a boyfriend. However I am aware that getting one 'just because' is incredibly stupid, so I won't be doing that. Instead I am going to sit in my room thinking "How sad is it that I've never had a boyfriend?" while at the same time feeling slightly smug that I'm not codependant. Sigh...

In which there is a social division, some socialising, a Martian invasion and hope for the future.

Hey ho. Has been rather bizarre couple of days.

Friday was odd; the group split because one person fancied moving rooms. It all happened so quickly. One moment the gang was all in G4, the next almost everybody had moved to G3 and was wondering why I hadn't! They kept stealing stuff from our room as well, even the clock which I bought for G4. Hmmmm. Is big problem, as now can't decide which room to go to on Monday.

Played ping-pong (sorry - table tennis) at BYG, which was very fun, though still not as good as badminton. I kept hitting the darn thing too hard. Those crazy balls bounce of the walls three times before even hitting the floor when you give them a proper whack.

Then went midnight shopping (weekly tradition at Tescos)- almost. We went to pick up Jamez but he was working, so we played crazy golf instead. I did ok. Then Jamez went somewhere else so Andrew pretty much took me home. I've seen Jamez for all of ten minutes over the past two weeks! I like his friends - especially Rob. He seems really nice, I've seen him for all of ten minutes as well.

Today was better; we saw War of the Worlds at the cinema. I found it insanely scary. Can't believe it's only a 12A! But then Michael thought it wasn't that terrifying so maybe it's just me. I tried to buy a Make Poverty History band from Oxfam afterwards, but they'd sold out. Ahses.

Then I went all peculiar and quiet. Am still peculiar and quiet. No worries - Catalyst tonight, which will rock. Yay Catalyst! Could do with a hefty dose of fab Christian tunes, it always cheers me up. Whoever said the Devil has all the best music didn't know what he was talking about!

Also, Ian is talking at our church tomorrow which will rock. Yay for that.

I'll update again soon, k? K.