An Answer

Whoever said you can never truly go home had a rubbish sense of direction.

I've really enjoyed being home. Sort of. Mostly. I mean, I absolutely adore my island, but so many people have moved on that I've got practically nobody to meet up with. Nothing to do.

On the plus side, I went back to my church and saw that they've started renovating the building behind our church. We used to use it for Sunday School, but it's been so dilapidated for so long that they were talking about demolishing it for a while. So to return to it today to see all the building work going on, all the people busy sanding and planing and pulling down wallpaper, is a wonderful thing.

It wasn't until I went upstairs and saw the YFC guys I did my gap year with working on the rooms that would be their offices - no, it wasn't until I saw a particular floorboard - that I remembered something pretty cool.

About a year ago, I needed to pray urgently, so I let myself into the building for some time alone. I loved that building, and I ended writing a long prayer that it wouldn't be demolished. I prayed that it would be rebuilt, repaired, and made useful. I prayed that it would be something for the community, something to help people. I prayed that it would be busy. And then I hid my prayer under a loose floorboard in one of the abandoned rooms.

So went I went back to find that that floorboard has been fixed down - presumably with my prayer still underneath it - and that the whole building is being brought back to life, I have to say - it felt good. Very good.

PS - see "My Sites", to the left. I've added this thing called a tumblog that's pretty cool.

A public prayer.

God, I need your help. I need to make sense of this world. I need to know what the truth is, and most of all, I need you. It's not just for my benefit any more, it's for the people around me - I'm meant to be a shining light for you, and lately I haven't really been doing that. I don't feel guilty about it, I know guilt isn't a sensible response in a saved person, but I feel like I could be doing so much more.

I remember being so fired up with passion for You. Living for You was all that I wanted; it fulfilled me, gave me a purpose. Please just remind me what that means. Help me look in the right places, Lord, because I know I need You.

Like I say, it isn't just me any more. Thank you that I'm not alone in this; thank you for those who are a support to me, and I pray that you give me the strength and wisdom to be the same for them. Because I'm fully aware that being 'a basically nice person' isn't nearly enough.

Thank you for everything I've been through, good and bad, and I pray that I'm able to use it to help someone.

Love, your child, friend, and servant,
Anna.

Starving myself

It's autumn, can you believe it... autumn already... on the plus side, the weather today was gorgeous so I'm harbouring hopeful delusions that summer was just delayed.

That's the sort of thing you can see happening though, isn't it? "An administrative problem has led to the Summer of 2007 being delayed by 3 months. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause." Fingers crossed.

Been a funny couple of days... I'm officially blonde now, not to mention the proud (and shocked) owner of a miniskirt, so there's some quite radical self-image-adjustment happening in this little mind of mine.

My little sister is having her first day at High School tomorrow... she's really nervous about it so I'm walking her in. My brother had his first day at college today, and I'm going to university soon... it's all change!

Oh man... I'm not very happy. I haven't prayed or read my bible in I don't know how long, and it's really affecting me. I spend about 50% of my life in this state, not doing nearly enough to keep myself spiritually healthy. Jesus said "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God"; and that's more than just a passing thought, it's an important truth. I've been starving myself, evidently. (So that's what the sensationalist post title was about, sorry!)

And on top of starving myself spiritually, I've been living off junk food because that's all that's in the house, so I'm generally feeling rather low.

Interesting thing of the day (and heaven knows you need one after reading my miserable moanings): A rad and random game!