Godforce

The world is weird and wider than we think, this is undeniable. And I can't make head nor tail of it.

For instance, I've seen the world as crackling white energy that blazes like lightning matter broken down into all that it is: structure (order) and the other stuff, energy, the force, the spirit. I saw that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking full-on hallucinations, but I have a vivid imagination and it made sense to me because "in Him all things hold together." That's the stuff, the God-bond, that is in everything and everything is in Him. It made the world more magical and I was happy with that.

And that's us, too, sparkling brighter than the roads we walk on, full of more lightning than the seats we sit on and the beds we lie on, and why is that?

Or so I thought, back in the day, before things got a little more 'complicated' (which means boring and grey as everyone knows; it's what adults tell children when what they mean is that they got old and things stopped making sense. "Things are a little more complicated than that"). It's easy to convince yourself that you let your mind run away with you. It's really easy.

But then, well then something unexpected happened. On Monday night. A party, all dressed up as animals, I a cat of course; not the setting for a spiritual revelation but then isn't that always the way? And I remembered a poem, and asked for a notebook, and then... well then...

Do you remember I told you about a poetry Open Mic night? And how there was one guy - one poem - that snapped me to attention and made me wonder if he might live in the same world I've lost? It talks about "throwing the rocks Jesus told me not to," and there's a sensation of rain on pavement and part of it - part of the poem, it talks about seeing everything as bright white crackling energy, electricity, and I had forgotten he said those things.

But there they were, in the notebook, and I asked him about it. Yes, he's seen it, he's seen white-hot electricity in everything. And then he mentioned archetypes and I smiled and he mentioned Jung and I sighed and I nudged him back towards Ben, because those two could talk forever (Ben loves Jung, the collective unconscious and all that jazz) and it wasn't the time for a conversation about Godforce and spirit stuff.

But now I feel a little bit less delusional and a little bit more sure of the thing you can't be sure of - that someone is in charge of this mess; someone is in control. And in us.