Farmville

Look, it's not my fault ok?

I am suitably ashamed of myself.

Let me explain from the beginning.

I'm much more into twitter than facebook, so some trends just pass me by. Farmville was one of these. I was aware of its existence, and vaguely knew what it was - a rubbish, farming-related version of the Sims - but I had absolutely no interest in it. Rightly so. ('Scuse me, I need to collect the eggs.) But a couple of months ago, all that changed forever...

My friend Helen from university is great. She's fun, intelligent, and aside from a bizarre love for Twilight (more about that another time), she's got great taste; so when she and I went to the library to 'work' - i.e. check facebook and twitter respectively - I was intrigued by seeing her play Farmville.

The colours were so bright, and the simple pleasure of clicking on cartoonish shapes to make them do things appealed to me. It still does, in fact. It's the middle of winter; I'll take colour where I can get it. So, I gave it a go. Purely for research purposes, or so I told myself - I'd find out what all the fuss is about, then move on to worthier pastures. (Just a sec, I'm planting artichokes.) I made my own little farm, two squares by two. I planted and sowed and harvested, bought and sold and milked; eventually reaching the point where I could only progress by adding people as neighbours.

I looked at the list of my facebook friends with farms, and in that moment, some final shred of dignity flailed, coughed, and gave up entirely. I added them. That was weeks ago now, and my little farm is prospering with the help of people I haven't spoken to in years. My news feed is an endless list of my 'achievements', requests and demands, all automatically generated by the game. I can only imagine how annoying that must be! (Excuse me, I just need to go harvest my wheat.)

Some people might think that it's too time-absorbing, but I don't find that- (hang on, my cow needs milking.)

I don't think that it- (Ooh! My apple tree's ripe)

It's not- (Hold on while I fertilize someone's peppers)

(Wait -