Chrimblas-related stuff and things

Lately I've been staying up late. Like, five-in-the-morning late. I've got a pretty big family, and while Christmas at home is by no means as chaotic as it once was (running to wake up the parents at 6am to show them what Father Christmas brought us in the night), late evening / early morning is pretty much the only time I get to be alone right now.

I've been on the Isle of Wight with my family for three weeks or so now, so I'm missing Gavin like crazy - especially at night, when of course I can't call him and talk to him. Such is life. But if it's been hours since we spoke, it's been weeks since we saw each other, and it's been a month - maybe more - since we actually got much time together. I've had deadlines and he's had work, and a million other reasons, all culminating in a big idiotic missathon. Missathon should be a word. Although it kinda makes 'Jonathon' sound like it means an abundance of Jon, which is -

Where was I?

Yes, so, Christmas! That's where I have been. Not that Christmas is a place, or anything, oh lord why can't I think straight? I have had too much chocolate, done too little exercise, watched too much television, and generally upheld Britain's finest festive traditions. Believe me, I'm already planning to hit the gym in January (HA).

I've been feeling awfully uncreative lately, too. It's become quite apparent that I'm not going to be a comedian (I appreciate funny like you wouldn't believe, but am incapable of producing it), and am questioning my ability to write. It's all about hard work though, really. If I could discipline myself, I'd be able to write something special (or so I persist in believing, despite a complete dearth of evidence for this (Also, mini-hellyes: that may be the first time I've used dearth in a sentence. New word! Woo! (Never lose track of your parentheses, kids.))).

So, as I can't embed any photos or drawings from my illustrious self, you'll have to make do with this instead:

Head Trip is an awesome webcomic, I've been reading it since I discovered this strip. (Yes, I discovered the backlash long before I discovered the books. Possibly influencing my decision to read it, as we young 'uns say, 'for teh lulz.')

Twilight

I've intended to write this post for months. I had to read Twilight for my university course. We're studying the literary evolution of the Vampire - starting at Dracula, and working our way through Anne Rice's stuff, up to Twilight.

Now, I'll admit I read it with some prejudice. I'm of the opinion that the world hasn't seen a decent vampire since Spike was neutered (with the exception of the vampires in Being Human, who are actually quite impressive), and from what I'd heard about this Cullen chap, I was expecting the book to be a massive bag of dribble. Well, I was right.

There's a lot I could say about Meyer, and feminism, and how one has clearly never heard of the other. I could rant for pages about the useless sack of emo that is Edward Cullen, but to be honest, others have done so already, and better than I ever could.

The film, however, was better. Bella does actually seem to have a personality (let's not get into that "is zero a number" debate again), and I can even, dare I say it, see the appeal of Patterson. Pattinson? Him, anyway, the sack of emo. Not his looks, because he's not that attractive (no matter what the legions of horny teenagers and women who think like teenagers might say), but Patterson (Pattinson?) as a person. Y'see, I watched the DVD commentary (again, I'll stress that this is for university). I'd forgotten that he's English. He was Cedric Diggory long before he was Edward Cullen. And on top of that, he has a sense of humour, and seems genuinely embarrassed about the role. Here follows an extract from Empire magazine's October issue:

"When you read the book," says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, "it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean, every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn't do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he's a 108-year-old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there."

You've gotta love that.

Oh, also, you remember the Very Secret Diaries of Cassandra Claire? The LotR parodies that had me in stitches way back when? if you never read them, the link's in my "Interesting thing of the day" link list to the left. Well, the Twilight lolfans (that's what they're called) have made so many parodies that I can't possibly link to them all, so instead just check out this lady's blog. She seems to be spearheading the operation, and more power to her.

Found on Flickr 7

Blacklight Laser Test 2, originally uploaded by tackyshack.

I've been following this photographer's work for a while, and I can't believe how amazing it is! Light painting to aspire to.

Farmville

Look, it's not my fault ok?

I am suitably ashamed of myself.

Let me explain from the beginning.

I'm much more into twitter than facebook, so some trends just pass me by. Farmville was one of these. I was aware of its existence, and vaguely knew what it was - a rubbish, farming-related version of the Sims - but I had absolutely no interest in it. Rightly so. ('Scuse me, I need to collect the eggs.) But a couple of months ago, all that changed forever...

My friend Helen from university is great. She's fun, intelligent, and aside from a bizarre love for Twilight (more about that another time), she's got great taste; so when she and I went to the library to 'work' - i.e. check facebook and twitter respectively - I was intrigued by seeing her play Farmville.

The colours were so bright, and the simple pleasure of clicking on cartoonish shapes to make them do things appealed to me. It still does, in fact. It's the middle of winter; I'll take colour where I can get it. So, I gave it a go. Purely for research purposes, or so I told myself - I'd find out what all the fuss is about, then move on to worthier pastures. (Just a sec, I'm planting artichokes.) I made my own little farm, two squares by two. I planted and sowed and harvested, bought and sold and milked; eventually reaching the point where I could only progress by adding people as neighbours.

I looked at the list of my facebook friends with farms, and in that moment, some final shred of dignity flailed, coughed, and gave up entirely. I added them. That was weeks ago now, and my little farm is prospering with the help of people I haven't spoken to in years. My news feed is an endless list of my 'achievements', requests and demands, all automatically generated by the game. I can only imagine how annoying that must be! (Excuse me, I just need to go harvest my wheat.)

Some people might think that it's too time-absorbing, but I don't find that- (hang on, my cow needs milking.)

I don't think that it- (Ooh! My apple tree's ripe)

It's not- (Hold on while I fertilize someone's peppers)

(Wait -