Birthdings

I was not going to celebrate my birthday. I was playing it cool. I always do, at first. It's a lowering of my own expectations, really, because I'm never convinced that anyone else is going to remember.

I promise this post gets less wallowy. Bear with me.

har! har!

Having a birthday in October, for a kid who grew up as bookish and introverted as I did, meant that people at school often hadn't had time to get to know me when my birthday rolled around. September kids probably have it even worse.

In my first year at uni, my first birthday away from home, I quietly mentioned my birthday to the three people I knew by name; and I got a surprised "Ah! Really? Happy birthday! ... So are you doing anything for it?" to which I answered No, no. Not really.

So, nothing happened.

It's my own fault; I'm bad at making things happen. For my 18th birthday, my friends demanded that we go to Pizza Hut at least, because I wasn't planning to do anything at all.

Since coming to Cardiff, though, things have picked up speed. I'm not the wallflower I once was, and I'm lucky enough to have friends who'll grab hold of the most tenuous excuses imaginable for a fancy-dress shindig. I love them, I love them (fancy-dress shindigs AND my friends; but I mostly meant my friends. I would not trade the wonderful, talented, gorgeous people in my life for anything, not even a kawasaki ninja, and LOOK how frakkin' pretty they are:

Are we still parentheses? We are. Sorry).

Yesterday, despite being in work all day, I was remembered by a great many people. As soon as midnight hit, Sean Solle got the first HBD greeting in, and the following 24 hours saw a whole bunch of people on twitter and facebook and even tumblr wishing me a merry one. Some of them barely know me, or were reminded by facebook, but every single one made me smile and feel valued. That kind of positivity really adds up over the course of a day!

And, to top it all, the very kind family I live with (whose generosity I can't begin to deserve) bought me a book on Graffiti - one I don't already own! It looks great, the pictures are grouped by area rather than by artist which is so cool bec- er, anyway - and a birthday cake.

And AND, the people I'm training with at work bought me cards and chocolates because they are insanely lovely. INSANELY. Get this: the lady who trained me for the first two weeks remembered that my short story has been published by the UK Zombie Defence League, looked the UKZDL up, found my blog along the way, discovered that Lindt Lindor are my favourite chocolates, got me some, and made me promise not to share them.

SERIOUSLY.

like -

I can't even -

That's lovely on a scale I never expected to encounter in a work environment. Dilbert did not prepare me for this. How are you supposed to respond? Anywhere else I'd have given her the biggest bearhug on record, because seriously, that's above and beyond the contractually-obliged Happy Birthday, but instead I just rambled and thanked for a bit and grinned my way throughout training for the rest of the day.

Also, a girl I met on a bus and befriended the heck out of lent me the first Harry Dresden book, so I've got that going for me too.

Just - keep up the good work, universe. This is all very very adequate.

Tumblr has been bad for me

I have a tumblr. This is causing problems.

This post contains creepiness, swearing, and excessive lusting; so if you don't want your illusions of me shattered, or want to read me fangirling hard over gorgeous manfaces, ↓↓↓ scroll down to the kitty buffer. ↓↓↓

Otherwise, glad to have you with us and I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. This is my catharsis, ok? I write one, long, freakily obsessive post about Supernatural and then I never mention it again because you deserve better than this.

It started off innocently enough. People shared pictures and stories and opinions on their tumblrs, and a lot of them like the same things I do! They like Doctor Who, and Buffy, and this show I hadn't seen called Supernatural. Eventually, knowing that a couple of my friends really liked it, I decided to give it a go.

This was simultaneously the best and worst decision I've made in a long time.

You see, I love it. The story, the characters, the actors... but Tumblr doesn't leave it at that, oh no. It nourishes obsessions. So after the more immediate pleasures in discovering a new show to enjoy, I started discovering a few of the more... niche... aspects of the 'fandom'.

I discovered the slash fic. And I like it. Some of it is very well written. And from there I discovered RPS, real-person slash, which is... contentious, is probably the word. I like that too. I would probably keep very quiet about the fact if I ever met any of the cast, but still, there it is.

I discovered the lurid past of Jensen Ackles, and some of his more questionable fashion choices.
You have to understand just how gorgeous these people are. The whole damn show is oestrogen bait; the conventions are the lady-heaviest nerdcons I've ever seen.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan, aka John Winchester (and the Comedian from Watchmen!)

Matt Cohen (@mattcohen4real), aka young John Winchester (and others*)

Jensen Ackles, aka Dean Winchester

Ackles' frackles

Jared Padalecki (@jarpad), aka Sam Winchester

Misha Collins (@mishacollins), aka Castiel (and others*)

No but seriously though, his face

Richard Speight Jr (@dicksp8jr), aka the Trickster (and others*)

Rob Benedict (@robbenedict), aka Chuck Shirley, aka Carver Edlund

Mark Pellegrino, aka Lucifer

Sebastian Roche (@sebroche), aka Balthazar

Jim Beaver (@jumblejim), aka Bobby Singer

Mark Sheppard (@mark_sheppard), aka Crowley, aka Badger from Firefly, aka  Canton Delaware from Doctor Who,  aka Romo Lampkin from Battlestar Gal- actually you know what I'm just going to leave this here, it would be quicker to list the things he hasn't been in

Also I think there are some female characters? Apparently. (Although not many. The fans don't seem to like 'em...)

One of the unexpected side-effects of watching all the Supernatural (ALL the Supernatural!) is that the phrases "blue-steeling like a motherfucker," "male modelling sons of bitches" and "sweet merciful Zeus" have all become permanent fixtures in my mind.

*Spoilers, sweetie!

RIGHT KITTY BUFFER and then no more fangirling and / or lusting after strangers.

In other news, my birthday celebrations (cue update guilt, it feels like quite a while ago) went very very well indeed! I got sent on a fantastic treasure hunt that involved deciphering clues and getting the next one from whichever friend it pointed me to. I got a treasure chest at the end of it full of Lush products, which was just about perfect! The charity shop scavenger hunt I 'planned' went brilliantly; we got fancy hats, snazzy ties, and ugly ornaments aplenty.

Oh yeah, the ugly ornaments... the front-runner was a pottery bear-house that contained three little abominations. I mean, that thing is UGLY. But we had a surprise winner when the creepy pierrot-ish clown ornament turned out to be a music box. It's the most sinister thing, if I can I'll take some video of it because that thing needs to be in your nightmares as well as mine.

We went back to my house with the loot and had a barbecue / party / social gathering that really made my day. By midnight, when I actually turned 24, we had eaten, drunk and been merry, and continued to do so until bedtime.


I will attempt to curb my Tumblr dependency and update this more often, because there's not a shred of doubt in my mind that this is the more worthwhile endeavour. Something something tallest dwarf.

The addiction

It's that time of night again when I know I should sleep, but I really, really don't want to.

I posted recently about my childhood insomnia. It's not a problem for me any more, I could get my head down now and be asleep within ten minutes, if it weren't for the fact that I keep waiting for something to happen. I feel like if I go to sleep I'll be missing out on something.

This is, of course, because of my internet addiction - a lot of the things I'm interested in run on American time - so I end up loitering on msn and going in little circles of email -> twitter -> google reader -> blog -> flickr -> email, ad nauseum.

Maybe it's time to take a week offline again... although this time I'm not sure I could do it. My real-world life is a lot less busy than it was last time.

Anywhoot! Hope you're all well, thanks for keeping my blog active - it makes me happy.

Interesting thing of the day: My birthday present from G's parents. So so so pretty!

Ten things

For some reason I've found it difficult to write about anything lately. I haven't seen any new films lately, or I'd attempt a lacklustre review, possibly with a few mediocre puns thrown in for good measure.

So anyway, as I said, not much in the way of inspiration happening here. I suppose this is a filler post. For my regular readers, here are ten unrelated things about me that you may not know. To those who don't know me, who are new readers, perhaps, here is my proof that I'm not just another cardboard cut-out person who sits on the bus with you.

1. The place I dream about most often is my home church. I've had flying dreams, naked dreams, exploring dreams, even a sexy dream once, located there. I think I probably dream about it roughly once a week.


2. My parents sent me a bear for my birthday. He arrived today and has a hot water bottle inside him, and I've named him Bode. I think the journey must have been stressful as he's shedding a fair bit - I never want to travel by envelope!
   


3. Back when I used to get insomnia as a kid, I'd try sleeping the other way round, on the floor, in my wardrobe, on top of my wardrobe, in the hall... anywhere. It never worked.
   


4. I want to redecorate this site to something a little less fey, but I've absolutely no idea where to get the layout. I got this one by butchering some code from one of those "OMGLOL pretty up your myspace, lyk totally hot!!!1" sites.


5. I have maybe sort of cyberstalked before. A bit. But it was all public information. But I'm still sorry. Although I would probably do it again. Well then people should stop being so damn INTERESTING then shouldn't they! Still, we're going out now so I suppose I must have done something right! Hahahaah!! I'm not crazy!!! Hahahaah!!!!


6. I used to get very homesick for places I'd never been. Heaven, Ankh-Morpork, a willow tree by a river. I don't any more. Any great thinker, writer, or comedian will tell you that as soon as you're happy with your life, something in your imagination goes dormant.


7. The first pet my family ever owned died right underneath my feet. He was a cat called Chloë and I loved him very much. He purred for the first person to get up every day, so our parents had to ban us from getting up before 6.


8. For years I thought someone I knew was skiving off school. He had six months off at one point just because every weekday morning he'd wake up with an indefinable headache that would disappear sometime after lunch. When he was diagnosed with depression I felt like utter shit, especially since part of me still didn't understand.


9. My greatest fear is that I will cease to be interesting or likeable, and everyone I know will desert me, and I'll be incapable of making any new friends. Every day I wonder if this has already started happening.


10. I could be an amazing poet. I know I could. Maybe I will be one day.

I'm not going to say it's a meme, but if any of you decide you'd like to write ten unrelated facts about yourself (and let's face it who doesn't love a bit of a vanity-wallow once in a while), drop me a comment or an email with a link - I'd love to read them.

I don't know what to call this post

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know I haven't updated in ages. I've fallen victim to Blogger's Law - if anything interesting is happening in my life, I'm far too busy to write about it!

The day after my birthday was wonderful. We had a great time at the comedy club - I was going to review the comedians individually but to be honest I can't remember their names!

University stuff is sort of getting started, although I'm still not actually enrolled yet. It's a bit frustrating (in the same way that child abuse is a bit unfair. Um.)

I had fun last night talking to a bunch of people in Americaland, and didn't get to sleep until 5am because the last few of us in chat got talking about the separation of church and state. I also told them about what happened with the vicar, and the objection to that rather bizarre story was "a beatboxing forum? Yeah right." Strange what some people find improbable. Good thing I didn't tell them the bikini story, really...

Anyway, I promise I'll update again soon, I have been getting the blog withdrawal shakes. If you don't know what that's like, it's basically when you walk around narrating your life inside your head trying to make it sound funny; an effect compounded by the fact that I've been thinking about stand-up comedy a lot.... all I'm saying is, haters beware, I've got a few choice heckler putdowns up my sleeve!

A birthday in pictures

I've passed! HOORAY!!!!











Not pictured: Gavin took me out for an incredible sushi meal. Delicious!


I'm getting better at Guitar Hero.



I've had a completely incredible day, I'm looking forward to tomorrow so much! YAY!

Big Al says dogs can't look up

Well, things are looking up for me! I'm feeling better, showing up at uni (if not actually enrolled yet), and turning 21 tomorrow. 21. That's properly grown-up! Fortunately that means nothing these days.

And, in addition, a bit of charity shop hunting has led to me listening to Hanson and B*Witched's albums from back in the day! AMAZING. It's even sunny and everything!

Oh, and I must remember to tell you why time flies when you're having fun. I worked it out! yeh! so remind me if I forget.

Today we have a VERY interesting thing: Fantastic Contraption! I've had so much fun with this the past couple of days. Give it a go. If a few of you are into it, I'll post up some amazing solutions!

The big two - oh

Today is my birthday. I am 20, and no longer a teenager.

However, I still know nothing about mortgages, and I intentionally started this post with a false sense of significance just to worry you. It's ok! I'm still me and still relatively clueless.

Being newly away from home meant that things were a bit quiet, as I'd expected, so I went into today thinking things would be normal. Which they kind of weren't. Within minutes of waking up, I'd received an utterly amazing gift from my boy that I'm still finding my way around, had a thread started about me on humanbeatbox.com, and had received two birthday cards (one from my grandparents and one from my boy's parents - not one from mine though! ;) ). Granted, nobody really knows me yet, but everyone smiles and wishes you the best when it 'comes up in conversation' that it's your birthday.

My housemates have bought me a cake which we'll share as soon as everyone's in at the same time (est. February), which is SO lovely and unexpected! And Lanky Dave (I live with two Daves, a Ben, and Michelle) said he might buy me some Baileys - which, as some of you might know, is the only alcoholic drink that makes me smile on contact.

I had a lecture that was absolutely rubbish and ended half an hour early - she was supposed to be teaching us how to use a website that a) wasn't working and b) she didn't understand. So THAT was fun.

My seminar was pretty darn good! I contributed! Maybe a little too much, which isn't a good indicator really since I haven't read the whole of the Odyssey yet. When I have I'll probably be insufferable.

And in the evening I went to my Christian Union for the first time, which was very cool! It felt like such a relief to be back among Christians, which is a dangerous and damaging thing to feel and I expect you guys to make sure I don't isolate myself away from the real world. That said, it's amazingly encouraging to have a few names under my belt at the CU already, and someone has invited me to their church. Fab!

Then I came home and talked to my boy, which (as always) made me exceedingly happy. He's coming down in three days!! I miss him a lot less than I did this time last week. I was very emo about it all, but I appear to have survived the two-week mark intact. Thank God it's not much longer, I'll say that.

Interesting thing of the day: The Man Code.