Programmes I used to love

... and I still do, to be fair.

I'm not going to go with the obvious thing, which would be to dive through YouTube unearthing clips from 1980s children television (amazing though that would be); instead I'm going to address the programmes that had an impact on me in my teenage years.

First of all, Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I am not ashamed of this. I think it was absolute quality, with enough 'normal teenage stuff' to make it relatable. For example, there was a wonderful episode in which students started disappearing, fading into invisibility, and all it took to bring them back from oblivion was some eye contact or a quick conversation. It was a wonderful metaphor; directly relevant without being overbearingly obvious.

My favourite episode would either be Hush, or the musical episode (which was truly amazing if you loved the show as much as I did / do). Hush hardly had any dialogue, which many people would argue was an improvement (these people would be wrong and silly. Silly wrong people). The sheer horror levels of that episode were at an all-time high, and The Gentlemen were unforgettably creepy.

The Gentlemen

Also, eyecandy is always a winner. The series was around for long enough - six years, apparently - for my interests to phase from Xander to Spike. Even to Giles on some days. And Willow on others (no homo). Never Angel though, the big broody stump of emo that he was. He was all sad and pathetic and in love with Buffy, which held far less appeal than Spike's wannabe-rocker mojo. Of course they eventually cut Spike's balls off in an attempt to redeem him, and he turned all sad and pathetic and fell in love with Buffy. I mean dammit people.

Another programme that influenced me was Star Trek: The Next Generation, shuttup, it's awesome. And here's why. The spirit of adventure - of scientific discovery in space, and of pure indulgent fantasy in the holodeck - really caught my imagination. If I'd been any older I'm sure my imagination would have been elsewhere, no doubt musing on the contents of that secsi uniform (muscle padding, apparently. *Noise of disappointment*). So it's just as well TNG got me while I was young and innocent; I was too young to find Wesley Crusher irritating, so I just harboured confused daydreams of making friends with him and, I don't know, discussing dilithium crystals.

Wesley attractive?
Now you kinda see it...

And now you really, really don't.

You SO don't.

It's sad but true: if I watch something enough, I start to fantasize about having conversations with the characters. That's not insanity, it's imagination, and anyone who disagrees can take it up with Frank the 6-foot rabbit, can't they Frank.

YES

Also, I'd like to cast an obvious yellow vote for the Simpsons. I'm pretty sure the Simpsons affected everyone in some way. They informed American and British humour for over a decade until South Park took the reins. I still hold a tremendous affection for the characters, although not to the point where I'd willingly watch them in anything for quite a while.

He likes doughnuts LOLLLLLL

So, yes. Those are my three nominees for "Programmes I used to love." Feel free to share your special memories in the comment box. You too, Rich, don't be shy!

OH by the way, Dan, Stephen Fry, the ACTUAL Stephen Fry, is following me on Twitter. I Shit You Not. Admittedly he's got as many internet friends as MySpace Tom, but this IN NO WAY (slightly) cheapens how awesome this is.

Ten things

For some reason I've found it difficult to write about anything lately. I haven't seen any new films lately, or I'd attempt a lacklustre review, possibly with a few mediocre puns thrown in for good measure.

So anyway, as I said, not much in the way of inspiration happening here. I suppose this is a filler post. For my regular readers, here are ten unrelated things about me that you may not know. To those who don't know me, who are new readers, perhaps, here is my proof that I'm not just another cardboard cut-out person who sits on the bus with you.

1. The place I dream about most often is my home church. I've had flying dreams, naked dreams, exploring dreams, even a sexy dream once, located there. I think I probably dream about it roughly once a week.


2. My parents sent me a bear for my birthday. He arrived today and has a hot water bottle inside him, and I've named him Bode. I think the journey must have been stressful as he's shedding a fair bit - I never want to travel by envelope!
   


3. Back when I used to get insomnia as a kid, I'd try sleeping the other way round, on the floor, in my wardrobe, on top of my wardrobe, in the hall... anywhere. It never worked.
   


4. I want to redecorate this site to something a little less fey, but I've absolutely no idea where to get the layout. I got this one by butchering some code from one of those "OMGLOL pretty up your myspace, lyk totally hot!!!1" sites.


5. I have maybe sort of cyberstalked before. A bit. But it was all public information. But I'm still sorry. Although I would probably do it again. Well then people should stop being so damn INTERESTING then shouldn't they! Still, we're going out now so I suppose I must have done something right! Hahahaah!! I'm not crazy!!! Hahahaah!!!!


6. I used to get very homesick for places I'd never been. Heaven, Ankh-Morpork, a willow tree by a river. I don't any more. Any great thinker, writer, or comedian will tell you that as soon as you're happy with your life, something in your imagination goes dormant.


7. The first pet my family ever owned died right underneath my feet. He was a cat called Chloë and I loved him very much. He purred for the first person to get up every day, so our parents had to ban us from getting up before 6.


8. For years I thought someone I knew was skiving off school. He had six months off at one point just because every weekday morning he'd wake up with an indefinable headache that would disappear sometime after lunch. When he was diagnosed with depression I felt like utter shit, especially since part of me still didn't understand.


9. My greatest fear is that I will cease to be interesting or likeable, and everyone I know will desert me, and I'll be incapable of making any new friends. Every day I wonder if this has already started happening.


10. I could be an amazing poet. I know I could. Maybe I will be one day.

I'm not going to say it's a meme, but if any of you decide you'd like to write ten unrelated facts about yourself (and let's face it who doesn't love a bit of a vanity-wallow once in a while), drop me a comment or an email with a link - I'd love to read them.

My What-Ifs

Some of my what-ifs, for your amusement.

Oh my gosh, what if Boh3m3 just walked round the corner? What would I say, do? Would I play it cool?

Wouldn't it be weird if that guy told me he loved me for no reason? He's kinda hot. What if he turned out to be a psycho? What am I saying. Of course he would turn out to be a psycho.

Heheh. If I stood up and shouted "STOP LOOKING AT ME" in the middle of this church service, what would happen then? oh, but then what would I do. Hm. Probably burst into hysterical tears, run away, and laugh myself to death when I got around the corner.

What if I was a famous writer? What if I had a secret pen-name? It would be really fun to tell people in a really subtle way and then they'd be like "OMG I've read everything you'd ever written", and I'd be all cool and humble about it. Naturally.

If gravity was the other way up, we'd all have to jump over lights and step over doorframes and such. Plus, going outside would be terrifying. We'd have to grapnel our way from lamp-post to lamp-post.

What if all the people I liked the best came and rescued me from... something? Like an office job. And they all just burst in through the door and swept me off my feet and we all went and spent the day on a massive exploring adventure. Or a beach adventure.

What if I met Dave tomorrow...

What if someone could actually see my thoughts? ... What if they didn't like me...

Well, now you guys can see some of my thoughts. And if you don't like me, I guess that means the real me isn't worth liking. But the one person who knows me better than anyone else, loves me so much he died for me. I guess that makes me pretty special. (In a modest, self-effacing way of course.)