"Today I accidentally let a meth addict use my ukulele as an ashtray."

Fairly self-explanatory? No? Ok, apparently this one needs further elaboration.

Jenny Lawson, wonderful and strange, offered a copy of her book to a random commenter on her blog. "What should you comment about?  Anything.  Your favorite toe.  The pet names of your body parts.  How many glass eyeballs you think a normal person uses in a lifetime.  The number of bodies you can fit under your bed.  It’s totally up to you," she said, and so...

I was showing a friend around Cardiff yesterday. She's recently moved to this fair city, and I wanted to show her everything exciting and good that it has to offer. We swung by the Cardiff Fashion Quarter to introduce her to my lovely and talented friend Laura Pickering, who recommended that we wander around Bute Park, seeing as how it was such a lovely day.

It was such a lovely day, guys.

At some point, I got my ukulele out in a quiet area and started strumming one of the few I know by heart. A woman approached us. Now, I'm woefully naive at the best of times, but even I know that someone who's walking unsteadily, missing teeth, and alarmingly thin is either an addict or a zombie. (From that perspective, this story could have gone far worse for me.)

She opened with "You can't play." I smiled politely and said something self-deprecating, probably "I know I'm not very good, but -"
"Let me have a go."
So, I took a gamble, thinking she'd take refusal as an insult and hoping that she'd get bored fairly quickly. Above all, I hoped she didn't smash it. (Spoilers: if she'd smashed it, I wouldn't be writing this - I'd be cackling madly on the news while a man in a suit said "my client has no comment at this time" to the cameras.)

She twanged the A-string, pulling it out of tune, and shakily tapped her cigarette ash into the body of the uke.

Now, my friend, as she's pointed out to me, has lived in London and dealt with worse. God bless her, I don't know how she had the fortitude, but she stood straight away to ask for - and then take - my uke back. And she had to fight for it, too.

The woman struggled with her and called her a fat bitch a few times, while my friend said "would you please leave us alone," politely but firmly. She eventually did walk off, and I went to a music shop to buy the uke some strings as an apology. I should have known better. I am sometimes, as I said, woefully naive.



So, that's that! I apologise for the long period of silence. I got scared away from my blog because of something I can't talk about, and in all honesty I only came back because this one was too long to tweet. But there it is, Tony. She left, everyone's fine, and my friend reassured me that I should forget about it, so I think I will.

Searching again

Everything has changed again.

How is it that I can feel as though I've done nothing, when in fact since my last post I've been illegally evicted, left Cardiff, moved in with my friend Dave and his parents, seen an opera about Nelson Mandela's life, written several poems, been dancing, filled out needlessly detailed job centre forms (it's just a change of address, for pete's sake) and several other things that escape me just at this moment?

It's always the same. As soon as I stop moving, it feels like I've accomplished nothing, been nowhere. I can only attribute this to a mercifully short emotional memory.

The job centre in Penarth is very different to the one I went to in Cardiff. Not that people weren't friendly in Cardiff, they were; but I asked three different people there on several occasions to take a look at my CV and let me know what they thought, and nobody did. The lady I'm talking to now, Jan, she seems golden. Actually offered to send an email on my behalf to a contact at a company that I'd be very excited to work with. So, we'll see, maybe I shouldn't give up just yet.

In truth, though, I'm starting to see that very few people get where they want to be by following the pre-ordained, tried and tested, government-sanctioned route. I've been hoping for some miracle dream that will tell me which direction to strike out in. Now's the time to do it, you know? Whether it's music or video-editing or writing or whateverthefuck, there's no better time than now to decide that I'm going to do it. Only... I can't decide what the thing is. What do I love enough to do every day?

I'm pretty sure I'm getting some of this from Ray Bradbury. He died on the 5th, 16 days ago, and it seems like he left behind enough pearls of wisdom to keep me thinking for a long while.

Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things.

I know you've heard it a thousand times before. But it's true - hard work pays off. If you want to be good, you have to practice, practice, practice. If you don't love something, then don't do it.

If you don't like what you're doing, then don't do it.

But then... he did also say "we've got too many Internets." So I don't know.


I keep winding up back here, wondering what to do with my life, and I'm sorry for that. It must get repetitive for you; I know it does for me! But in the meantime, I've got a book of poetry to finish, a short story to write, a script to hammer out and a lot of real life to fit in around that. Wish me luck.

P.S. I think Cardiff council have gone clean-wall-crazy; walls that I'd expect to be plastered in graf are bafflingly silent. Am making do with the occasional found tag, but there's a legal wall on the bus route between Penarth and Cardiff that's a splash of dynamic colour. I always stare at it until I'm taken out of sight. Hope to get some pictures for you (well, alright, mostly for me) soon!

About me

I've been reading The Hunger Games lately, along with half the book geeks in my life, it seems; and there's a part where the protagonist grounds herself in reality by reciting things she knows to be true about herself.

Well, thinking about it, I don't exactly have an About Me any more - not since changing my blog profile to this G+ thing - and since every other bio on the internet wants me to say everything in three lines, that means I can't really take my time over it.

So, I'll do it here. My blog, my rules! Haha!

About Me

• My name is Anna Fruen.
• I'm 24.
• I live in Cardiff, but grew up on the Isle of Wight, just off the south coast of England.
• I play the ukulele. Not because I'm good at it, but because it makes me happy.
• I write and perform poetry. Not because I'm good at it, but because I want to be understood.
• I just got a poem published for the first time! It's in this here kindle ebook, which costs only 299 British pennies.
• I'm terrified of the thought of going into space.
• I adore graffiti, and exploring to find it.
• I've recently gotten into urban exploration (wandering around abandoned sites and taking photos until a man with a flashlight asks you nicely to leave).
• I have a degree in English and Creative Writing.
• I don't have a job. I do want a job. Please give me a job.
• Those last two may be more related than I'd like.
• The first time I considered dying my hair purple, my best friends in the world tried to talk me out of it. They tried to steer me towards blonde.
• I still dye my hair purple sometimes.

I don't really know what else to say, other than thank you. The people who read my blog do it, so I'm assured, because they care about me. Even if that's only a little bit true, you care enough to read my words and that means the world. So thank you.

Here is a song I like.

Recap

I really have been neglecting you, haven't I. I'm very sorry about that. I think it's because my life is full of people now, so I rarely feel the need to reach out to the internet.

It all changed rather abruptly; I moved in with a friend from uni and his housemates, and suddenly it was as if I'd pushed off downhill in a shopping trolley. Sometimes the road steepens and sometimes it levels out, sometimes the road is especially bumpy, but I love the ride. And extended metaphors.

There's a lot of things I can't write about for privacy reasons. This blog is connected to my real identity and pseudonyms wouldn't protect the anonymity of anyone who knows me and my my friends, so to a certain extent I've had to curtail my desire to write about my experiences.

Let's see, what shape is my life right now...
I work in retail, in a job with great customers. It doesn't earn me much because it's only around two shifts a week. I'm also working as a volunteer for a Cardiff-based publishing company! I've mentioned that, I'm sure, but it's great and exciting and scary and stressful all at once.
Every week we have Drunken Sunday, where loads of our friends come over and we talk, drink, laugh and generally make merry. Drunkenness entirely optional, of course. Sometimes I'm in the middle of everything, flirting outrageously and loving the attention, and sometimes I sit in the corner and just smile because I feel so lucky to be there.

I am, you know. Very lucky. My friends are passionate, interesting, talented people, and easy on the eye to boot! Truth be told, sometimes I feel unworthy. The ol' self-esteem is kind of at an ebb right now. So it goes. I've gained a bit of weight over the past year due to not cycling any more (some helpful person put Ben's 5-digit lock on my bike, so it needs some trial-and-error codebreaking and an awful lot of TLC before I take it back out on the road). It shouldn't matter, and it's not like I think I'm ugly, but every time I see my body I'm disappointed and low. Such a shame. With a bit more confidence, I'd be having a lot more fun!

I am having fun though. Trying new things, going on adventures... On Monday morning (after two hours' sleep and a Drunken Sunday), I went up Garth mountain with my friends. Admittedly I was, er, bringing up the rear - as I say, I'm not in great shape at the best of times - but I made it up eventually and thoroughly enjoyed the whole day. And the night was just magical. It's rare to feel that close to a group of people.

I hope you're all well, and again, I'm sorry for the rather lacklustre attempts at blogging lately. You deserve better. I'll try to up my game!

Love,
A x

Sex pirates

Sorry I haven't posted much lately; my life has divided into boring things, and things I can't tell you. So to summarise: My housemates are mental, my friends are geeky and awesome, my ukulele playing is coming along well (I've written a song!) and my self-esteem is fluctuating wildly. I'd also like it noted for posterity that I coined the term 'sex pirate.'

Here's a video for you, if geeky ladies are your type! The link is, as always, going up on the left.


Geek and Gamer Girls Song - Watch more Funny Videos

OH! Also,an awesome thing has happened. If you watch Felicia Day's web series "The Guild," you might be interested to know that I emailed Cheesybeard's restaurant and got a response! The conversation is included below.

to   cheesybeards@cheesybeards.info date   15 September 2010 00:55 subject   Hello!

Hi! I'm expecting auto-reply, but if there's a real person dealing with these: nice work. I do love an effective social media presence (and ARGs, for that matter). All the best!

Anna

from   CheesyBeards Restaurant to date   15 September 2010 16:51 subject   Re: Hello!

Auto-reply? YOU MEAN I COULD HAVE SET IT SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE COMPLAINTS MANUALLY??? I wish I knew this before.

Thanks,
CheesyBeards Management
--
CheesyBeards
http://cheesybeards.info
http://twitter.com/cheesybeards
http://facebook.com/cheesybeards

Kilt and céilidh

I spent the last week in Edinburgh, attending my sister's wedding and seeing the sights. I'm pleased to announce that, at the request of some very kind ladies and gents, I did indeed dance at the céilidh (pronounced kayley, it's a Scottish knees-up), at the expense of my ankle but not my enjoyment.

I'm sure photos will be going up, so you'll get to see my already-stunning seester looking radiant in her wedding dress. If that's your sort of thing. There will also be photos of my father and brother in kilts; if you're reading this, Mike, discretion will cost you.

I'm back in Cardiff now (after a pig-awful journey that was 7 or 8 hours, and 2 hours longer than it needed to be). I'm moving house in one week, so I've got to get on with packing and such, all while trying super-hard not to think of anything, because thinking makes me feel all confused and worried and I don't want that right now.

I really hope I get a dentist appointment soon... I'm so sick of this wisdom tooth being 'partially ruptured'; it's had at least 3 years to get its act together and has utterly failed to do so.

In other news, I'm going to be posting some short stories to Idle Scribe. I submitted them as university work and got pretty good feedback, so do have a read if you're interested.

No spoilers: LOST

There will be reviews of the finale springing up all over the internet in the coming days. They will range from "It was AWFUL" to "it was AWESOME," but that's not what I want to cover here. I want to talk about the part it's played in my life.

One of the main reasons I'm sorry to see Lost go is that it has served as a very effective, if transparent, excuse for hanging out with people I like for many years now. My family got me into it, having decided after the first three episodes that they liked it. I'm sure that, for them, the novelty wore off several seasons ago; and perhaps I'd have lost interest too, if it weren't for Stephen.

Stephen Wills is my honorary big brother. I've known him for my whole life, and craved his approval for about as long; in fact I'd say he was pretty instrumental in inspiring my lifelong love of geeks. I knew him when he was a blond-haired little boy playing with marbles, when he discovered Sonic the Hedgehog, when he was learning to drum and getting girlfriends... I'm a couple of years younger than him, so there was quite a while when we didn't really talk, but then we found out we had Lost in common. For a couple of seasons, my brother and sister and I would go to his flat to watch it with him. Then when he moved back to Newport, and I started doing my gap year work there, I'd watch it alone with him (and believe me, if I'd known how to hit on guys when I was 19, I would have done).

I grew up and moved away, although possibly not in that order; first to Plymouth, where I was alone, and then to Cardiff. In Cardiff I met Dan X. I picked up more or less where I'd left off with Stephen; going round to see him on a weekly basis and watching the latest episode. That's continued, sometimes with more people and sometimes not, right up until tonight. It's one of the things that helped me get to know a few people in Cardiff, so I guess it's one of the reasons this feels like home now.

This obsession has fuelled many discussions with my friends, ranging from vapid soap-opera style drama conversations through to philosophy and metaphysics. I'm helping to indoctrinate my friend Ben into the world of Lost, through which he's getting to know Dan as well. It's good to know that it's still doing that.

So I suppose it's time I found something new to obsess over. Any suggestions?

Kawaii LOST - Hurley and Smokey, originally uploaded by Jerrod Maruyama.

Today

Today I woke up. Today I bought a new skirt, from a charity shop: drapey and interesting, £2.99.
Today I went to the park and sat in the sun with friends.
Today I read some more of American Gods.
Today I had dinner and drank cider with friends, and played a Cardiff-based game of Monopoly that I lost and enjoyed.
Today, on my way home at midnight, I didn't so much as shiver. Barelegged and still warm in the middle of the night.

Summer days really do last longer. That's not nostalgia, that's the light. Today, there was so much light.

Life: that thing that stops one from blogging

Well, the impossible seems to be happening! I'm (slowly) improving my eating habits, (mainly by snacking on bowls of cereal), getting on with my work (by being paranoid about deadlines and writing them down everywhere), and finding time to kill zombies and splash at the beach with my friends. Could be doing a lot worse! And as soon as uni ends, I'll work on the haircut-and-room-tidying stuff I've been letting slide.

My sister texted me today to say that she was trying on her wedding dress... it's really not long now, and soon I'll have a brother-in-law!

Oh yeah, about that. My sister's getting married. I've just realised that I don't actually write about a lot of life-related things on my blog, being caught up as I so often am by minutiae and trivialities instead. So, let's see, what things should you know...

1. I am still very much in love with my boyfriend, and have been with him for coming up to three years now. Weird.
2. I still live in Cardiff, and love it here, but I'm really missing home (again!)
3. I like Glee, and I feel no shame about this.
4. My twitter addiction continues unabated, having recently just passed the 10k tweets mark. In case you don't know how many that is in the grand scheme of things, it's this many: too. Too many.
5. Other things taking a back seat until uni finishes: Calligraphy, ukulele, photography, reading everyone's blogs. If I haven't commented on your blog in a while, leave me a comment here and I promise I'll catch up soon.

I love the website Hacked IRL. It's not quite as revolutionary as it could be, but the little graffiti / culture jamming examples it gives are pretty fun. Here are some of my recent favourites:

And here are some more pictures; unrelated, but awesome.

Reasons to be cheerless

Well! Well, I'm sick of hinting obliquely at vague 'drama' and not actually telling you, dear reader, what's got me in such a huff. If you prefer positive Anna, it's very possible that this post won't tickle your happy button; however in the interest of maintaining emotional equilibrium (i.e. not being a total morbid bitch), I'll intersperse my whinging with pictures like this:

Non-threatening businessman LIKES this!

On monday, my group was supposed to gather for a uni project and I was the only poor sod who turned up. As I have already said, this irritated me. Only mildly, but enough.

Thanks, The Elderly!

Then there was Tuesday, when I seriously called into question my ability to be a writer. I really started doubting whether I have the talent or skill to  do it.
I think that's the day we had an Emergency House Meeting about the cleaning as well (fun!). Furthermore, my friend from our university course gave me the breakdown of the social dynamics in our university course and made me hate myself a little more.

That's the spirit!

On Wednesday, our project was due in. I think we all felt that we could have done a lot better, but I in particular was freaking out because we were supposed to submit a work log along with it - which I hadn't done.

I think this was also the day I received some very distressing news about the health of a family member / friend / much-loved person. I feel a bit flippant mentioning this among all my petty problems, but there is no good place for news like this.

That evening I went to my last refuge of sanity and accidentally created drama there too. You know how Pandora caused something of a kerfuffle by unlocking that legendary box? Yeah, it turns out you can cause just as much by locking a door absentmindedly.

You go, girl!

On Thursday I had a day off uni and came down with a shitty cold. I spent most of the day huddled up in my room with the usual symptoms - leaky nose, sore throat, coughs and sneezes - and had to show people around my room because my landlord (who I'd been trying to contact for about a week) has decided we're all moving out next year. So there's househunting to 'look forward to' as well.

Who's awesome? YOU'RE awesome.

Friday actually hasn't been too bad. Some of the damage from Tuesday and Wednesday was undone, and I've potentially got some people to move in with next year - people I actually know in advance, which makes a nice change after three years of randoms. I was supposed to see Gav, but there was an organisational misunderstanding, and that fell through. We haven't seen each other for a week and I miss him.

Even WOMEN can put their thumbs up now! I know, crazy, right?

Of course, nobody does proper drama like The Internet. The forum I moderate has been a minefield, with international politics causing tension, and a member who was voluntarily banned (after some friction with yours truly) coming back with a secret identity (and causing friction with yours truly). Honestly, at this point I am willing to accept the hypothesis that I am the cause of it all, and shouldn't be allowed around people.

Yeah, fuck you, The Man!

This guy is my hero now. Look how happy he is! I bet HE isn't considering becoming a recluse just to preserve some semblance of sanity. And if there's any doubt lingering your mind as to how moronic some people can be, read the comments to this blog post that unfortunately became the first Google result for 'facebook log in' yesterday, drawing the attention and rage of hundreds of confused idiots. Read the comments, they're comedy gold!

And on that note I'll leave you. I heartily promise that my next post will contain only happiness and light.

Frantic catch-uppery!

Hello all! Right, first off, I've been listening to a lot of Owl City (Spotify link). It's beautiful stuff; Fireflies has been #1 in the UK. I have no idea how long for, and in fact it's a miracle that that much information made it into my head.

I'm afraid that my extreme slackness means I'll have to do a bullet-pointy catchy-uppy thing.

Friday 29th Jan: We had a uni field trip to Cardiff Bay, got rained on, and went to the pub; and I had one glass of rosé and wouldn't stop talking. Here's a  few photos from the field trip:

Saturday 30th: I'd had a very early night, and consequently woke up at 4am. My housemates were awake, though more of the "still up" variety than my "already up." I watched Iron Man, started making my boyfriend's Not-Valentine's Day presents (bath bombs! It's ok, I've already given them to him), and saw the final episode of Dollhouse. No spoilers here, don't worry, but I was a WRECK by the end! A shell of a woman.

The rest of the day consisted of a girls' day at my church. I hadn't been to one of these things before, but my wariness of all things girly has subsided somewhat as I've grown up, so I thought I'd give it a go. After a worship session of rather gutless and floaty (but very pretty) songs, we had a great sermony thing, and set off on a Grand Adventure.

We started with a pub lunch at the Captain's Wife (a name that gave me the giggles for some reason); after which we traipsed around the beaches of Penarth, enjoying the sunshine and taking photos of people, places, and (in my case) interesting bits of driftwood.

Back at the church, we watched a movie called My Sister's Keeper. It was billed as a chick flick - I was expecting something with Sandra Bullock in, you know, a guilty pleasure, but instead I got a child dying of cancer. Lolz were not had. Don't get me wrong, it's a good movie, but crying at a screen twice in one day is just demeaning.

My week at university was fairly standard, and then I had another action-packed weekend...

Friday 5th Feb: I went round to my boyfriend's house and watched Buffy. He got the box sets recently so we're plowing happily through them! We're into the 3rd season now, and honestly, I wholeheartedly forgive Joss Whedon for always killing the one I love. When I'm King of the World, I'll ban FOX from cancelling anything he ever makes, ever.

That night we went to TGI Friday's. I'd never been in one before; the food was great (if pricey) and the service was excellent, but I couldn't help staring at the waitress's 'flair.' I've gone off pin badges lately - I used to think they were awesome, but I never seem to have a good place to put them. Yes, I have braces, but now that I've seen Office Space, they've become emblematic of workplace dictators and the futility of ambition. So YAY for that I guess.

Saturday 6th: Pub, house party, home at 7am. I met lots of lovely new people, and totally messed up my 8-day streak of 'early to bed, early to rise' success.

Sunday 7th: I woke up late for my new role-playing thingy! Also, I appear to be having noun troubles today. ANYWAY. The pub's just around the corner from my house, so I ran in with my dressing gown flapping dramatically behind me (untrue, but improves the visualisations). We started playing a Victoriana game, and it's AWESOME. Also, I'd never met the GM before - his name's Nimrod and he runs a convention called OddCon  UK. I very much like the sound of it. I've been searching for geeks like this my entire life... I'm so happy... and determined to get myself a pretty set of these:

Also, a huge thanks to the legendary Andrew Canham for the blog's new look. As someone remarked, mine is the Incredible Changing Blog, but I think this is a dramatic improvement over the old look! What do you think?

Shameless

Well done you, being so patient while I jetted off to the exciting and exotic location of, ehm, Tewkesbury. I have so much to update you on! I want to tell you about my boyfriend climbing mountains, about visiting my sister, about the party we threw for old people! I want to tell you about watching a performance of the Mikado, about what I believe about Life, the Universe and Everything! I want to tell you about an interview I've done about this blog (for serious), although I think that'll wait until shameless-appeal-for-votes-time. Everybody loves shameless-appeal-for-votes-time.

I've taken a lot of photos of my sister's snake, and the cat she adopted that woke me up by sitting on my face, and various other lovely things that I'll no doubt post in here at some point. For the meantime, I shall merely keep you entertained with this: Grow Tower. It's a fun, quick game. If you've got ten minutes to kill, give it a go.

Proper post coming tomorrow.

Work, play, toys, tales, pity and pictures

Well well well. Where to start.

I've got a job. Just for a month, some simple office work, but it will be my First Proper Job. I'm not too nervous, actually; I've got a kind of "just do it" attitude that probably means I owe Nike royalties. In honour of doing this remarkably grownup thing, I've been making the necessary phone calls and running errands and finding paperwork and all sorts of impressively organised things. Mostly without hardly being threatened at all.

A friend of mine has bought a wii. This is, naturally, the perfect excuse to all go round his house and play that strangely addictive sports that involves odd limbless people that look almost, but not quite, entirely unlike you. I'd like it to be known that I absolutely kicked ass until we started playing a proper game.

I miss the days when I used to rule the world at DOA3. Out of sheer sudden cravings for that game, I started playing on Gav's Soul Calibre 2. Methadone.

I had a very detailed dream last night. The best way to remember dreams is to repeat them to yourself out loud in the morning. I thought it all through in detail, figuring that's more or less the same, and it hasn't worked. Booooo.

Gav had his hair straightened, and it made him very happy. He looks really good too, so we've bought some straighteners to share. Hooray!

Gah - remember my crushingly embarrassing bikini story? I had the opportunity to tell a rather lovely person the whole thing, and our mutual friend told me that she'd read my blog post on the matter at work on a rubbish day and that it cheered her up. I mostly write this blog for me, but that kind of comment truly brightens up my day.

Also, my toe hurts. I tripped over the carpet last night. I hopped about for a bit looking pathetic before remembering that there was nobody here to feel sorry for me. That's why I'm telling you; I figure I'm karmically owed sympathy!

Some of you know about the cartoons that I made. Well my creative splurges now extend to graphics tablet doodles. Let me know what you think!

So, in summary, life is good and moving forward, and my addiction to Boots meal deals continues unabated.

My First Dates

I could, admittedly, have updated my blog a bit more frequently lately. I'm sorry. I have to make a definite effort to break out of the mentality that Cardiff = holiday. But instead of telling you all what I've been up to (I'll leave that for when I'm back in Plymouth), I thought I'd tell you what my previous first dates have been like.

In one word?

Accidental.

I don't have an awful lot of experience with dating, as I'm sure you're aware, but I have been mercilessly tricked into two dates, admittedly through some carelessness on my part, and the annoying thing is that they both sucked.

The first was with a friend; he'd arranged for a bunch of us to go to the cinema together to see troy, or so I thought. It turned out it was just the two of us, and he insisted on paying, and since he'd decided to get 'deluxe' tickets I reluctantly let him. Now, as a first date with somebody you're not actually interested in, the cinema is pretty good. You don't - in fact, can't - make conversation, but if you're interested enough to hang around for coffee afterwards there's an obvious topic for conversation. This date was a disaster, and to this day I've never seen the last half-hour of that film.

The second first date was in a similar vein. I met a guy at a party and gave him my number (never done that before, most likely never will again. I'm not adventurous in that respect). He worked at the cinema and got me in for free, although I can't recall what we saw. It was ok, and I could talk to him, but there was no real interest, so I took evasive action. I asked if he wanted to meet me again at Soul Cafe (i.e. with other people around and plenty of things to do rather than talk). He did, he came, he got talking to a friend of mine, she got baptised as a Mormon in his church and they're getting married. So, y'know, that was a win.

My third was an altogether more positive experience. I was already most definitely interested in the man in question and he was almost certainly interested in me - a given for most dates, perhaps, but not from my experience as you've seen! Again it was sort of accidental. It was a spontaneous decision.

Basically, we'd gone to a hip-hop festival. There were some amazing breakdancers, but you can only watch that for so long before you start getting bored, and it was one of about three beautifully sunny days that summer, so we went outside and hung around the park. We ended up lying down and hugging in the sunshine, and walking across stepping stones to go around the inside of a water fountain that was throwing up rainbows into the air. We went back into the venue to watch some MC-ing, but then, again, we got fed up with watching grown men cuss out each other's clothing and calling each other gay. So we went to get some food, which sort of became a date, except I wasn't really sure if it was a date. But it was. I think.

We went into a noodle bar and sat down opposite each other, which suited me fine as I got to look into his eyes. Blue. They hit me like a train when he took off his glasses, and I'm pretty sure I went pinker every time he looked at me. The only reason I remember the food at all is because I had so much trouble with it! I'd never used chopsticks before, and surely they're not the best implement for eating soup with anyway?, but he showed me how to use them and I clumsily got as much of the chicken down me as I could. I couldn't finish it. In fact I don't think I finished a meal with him for the first few months, my appetite and my nerves being what they were.

It was unlike any previous date I'd had in that a) I wanted to be there, and b) there was a second date!

Here's a picture from that day...




I never wrote about it because it was quickly eclipsed by drama and confusion, but that day, along with many others with him, still stays bright and shiny throughout a year of greys and rain.

Thankful

In light of the extreme negativity of my last post, I thought I'd make a point of telling everyone what I'm grateful for.

My home



My friends


My family



How utterly gorgeous the world can be



Art and creativity!



My boy.

There are plenty of other things to be thankful for this Christmas, but these are a few of my favourites. They are precious and wonderful to me.

Jeffers, my Boy, and Technical Difficulties

The sky broadband at our student house, unreliable at the best of times, finally broke completely last week. We're trying to get it sorted; unfortunately, this makes no difference to me since my laptop's finally given up for good. It's been hopelessly crash-tastic for a long time, and my techy did the decent thing and put it out of its misery. ;)

Thank God for university computers.

So it's been a wonderful few days! My boy came down for the weekend, we went to see Pendulum, we explored Plymouth looking for a cinema (trickier than you'd think when the maps don't have a You Are Here), watched TV with my housemates, made (burned) lasagne, ate jelly and ice cream (two colours of jelly, OGM!) and went to Mutley Baptist which earned a thumbs-up from Gavin.

I'll be seeing him again this weekend... my gosh, I'm terrified. It's a beatboxing jam in Bristol. WARGH. This is the first time I'll be meeting these guys in a situation where I might be reasonably expected to actually make some sounds with my actual mouth. :S STILL, what's the worst that could happen! ...

I evicted Jeffers on Friday. I didn't want to. Michelle came upstairs and said "ANNA I think Jeffers is in the recycling, I was wondering if you could..." So I obliged, went downstairs and moved cardboard boxes around until I found him tucked inside a Fab box (remember those? David's been buying loads of them lately). I then, VERY reluctantly, took the box outside, had one last look at his tiny whiskery adorableness, and sent him running off up the road.

Which I then proceeded to feel very very guilty about for two days, until Gav told me that he'd seen a mouse in the kitchen. I saw him yesterday too, Jeffers is officially still with us. (Ok, maybe it's another mouse, but this way I don't have to picture Jeffers dying of hypothermia in a coke can.)

Anyway! Hope everyone's ok, there should be more to come soon, although how soon I don't know. Don't suppose any of you have got a computer you don't need...?

Jeffers

I'm updating my blog for two reasons; firstly, it was requested; secondly, I was mere moments away from doing it anyway; and thirdly I have something vaguely interesting to write about. I know I said two, it doesn't matter, pay attention.

There is a mouse in our house. Somebody arbitrarily called him Geoffrey, but we all call him Jeffers now. He's been living here almost as long as we have, so it's got to the point where it would be awkward to ask him to move out, you know? He keeps himself to himself, is very rarely seen, mostly stays out of everyone's way; but occasionally someone will point excitedly towards the kitchen and leap out of their seat, attention suddenly diverted from Jeremy Kyle's pearls of wisdom, and say "I just saw Jeffers!"

I've only seen him once, a brief glimpse of his furry hindquarters disappearing behind the freezer.

He's truly a remarkable rodent. Lives on air, apparently, since there's absolutely no food kept at ground level and we're generally very tidy. (Unusual for a student house, but Ben is Very Neat, fortunately for us.)

The plan was originally to have him killed. Which is, of course, the rational thing to do with vermin. But this isn't vermin, it's Jeffers, and I readily confess that I'd quite like the little chap to stay around. Thankfully he went missing presumed dead for a few weeks after that idea was suggested. Oh yes; Jeffers is smart.
That's been downgraded to the idea of a humane trap now, which I'm much more keen on.

Tonight was the most he's ever been sighted; Michelle saw him vanish behind the fridge, and Ben and David were kind of gently poking things with spatulas to see if he was behind them. There was a rather fantastic moment when he showed himself and Ben yelped. I'm jealous, I want to meet him. I want to hold him the way I used to hold the voles and fieldmice and shrews we used to see back in the days of science camp (it wasn't as geeky as it sounds, mostly we lay around in hammocks or watching sunsets from the cliff-edge). Holding rodents is amazing because their little hearts beat so fast that they actually vibrate.

I don't know whether it's wise to tell my boy that we have a mouse this way. He's been round ours for the weekend before but I'd honestly forgotten about Jeffers, his appearances are that rare. But I took Dave texting me saying I should update my blog as a green light, so here it is. Honey, I'm really looking forward to seeing you this weekend, I hope you don't mind the mouse.

I'm not busy, but I should be

I was in Cardiff over the weekend, which I believe takes it to 29 days that we've spent together. <3 yay. Getting on with life, albeit with that strange nagging feeling that I should be doing something else, somewhere else. I have no idea what. Maybe it's homesickness. But in the meanwhile I'm ticking along quite nicely; eating unhealthily, not sleeping enough, or doing enough work, or praying enough or reading my Bible at all. So, yeah, I'm not miserable, but I could be doing a lot better at life in general. Series 3 of the Mighty Boosh starts tonight, woo! My laptop continues to infuriate me by blue-screening at random intervals, I fully intend to do something about it, after I've tidied my room and picked up those Pendulum tickets and bought a book with that book voucher and spent that HMV voucher and gone shopping and typed up my notes and read those course books and booked train tickets and updated the calendar... Amazing how full life can get when you're not good with time management. Oh crud, and it's Christmas soon, I have to buy presents and make cards and sort dates... Interesting thing of the day: this actually fooled me first time, I thought it was a joke. Optical illusions are neat.

Blaaaaaaaaargh.

I don't really know what to write. I haven't written any decent poems lately for the same reason; it seems that there's too much going on in my mind and I'm a bit scared to get it all down on paper. Or on a screen.

I haven't been well lately. I'm feeling absolutely fine, but my body's been freaking out. Various people have said that it's probably stress-induced from moving to university and I think they're right - but I seem to be ok again now. Here's hoping, anyway. My family, God bless them, sent me a little box of chocolates as a feel-better-soon present.

I spent a good few hours today feeling like the world's most useless Christian because of a comment someone had made... it really hurt, really made me feel like crap. I know for a fact it wasn't intended because the person who said it is an absolute star; he called me up to talk today and had me laughing by the end of the conversation. My gosh. I really am an emotional wreck when things aren't going well with God.

I'm really looking forward to this Friday - I'm heading up to Cardiff for the weekend to see my boy. At LAST. It's been WEEKS, I've missed him so much!

Interesting thing of the day: If you've never seen this, SHAME ON YOU.
(By the way, I link to youtube videos instead of embedding them in my blog because I prefer it. Opinions? Preferences?)

Plymouth and Exeter with my boy

WOOHOO! What a fantastic weekend. I've missed my boy SO much, it was wonderful to see him again. Right from when I got hold of him at the station and we just stood there for a good few minutes just being so glad to be together again.

I made a complete hash of cooking on Friday night, fortunately my boy stepped in and saved me from myself. I almost violated rule 1!* Then we went out for drinks to a lovely little pub that I'm quite fond of, it's a proper one with lots of green and red and wood and things stuck on the walls. There was a band playing and I was extremely happy.

Saturday was totally fantastic, we took the train to Exeter to meet Tyte. (If you don't know who he is by now, please pay attention!) We were wandering around Exeter cathedral for a few minutes, marvelling at the masonry and stained glass windows and such (I don't marvel often, but it was totally marvelworthy). We had just gone outside again, and Gav was saying that we'd find him soon, and just as we kissed we hard someone yelling "OI! Stop that you two!"

We went to a brilliant little Italian restaurant, where I did my usual thing of not finishing my meal and feeling hideously guilty and annoyed because it was actually really nice. And it was so, so lovely to see him again, and to chat to him about everything. He had a wonderful weekend, bless him, which I was very glad to hear. Then we wandered around for a while in a desperate search for a pub that might conceivably be showing the rugby! (Oh yeah, I'm into the rugby now. So much more fun to watch than football.) We had obviously stumbled into a fairly upmarket area of Exeter because it was all coffee bars and such, but we eventually found a great pub to watch the game in. We beat Australia, this is because we are AWESOME.

On the way back, my boy taught me some beatboxing - because as involved as I am in the community, and as much as I love it, I'm still utterly rubbish and REALLY need to practise. It's astonishing how shy I was about beatboxing in front of Gav.

Then we took the train back to Plymouth (I left my Bees hat on the train, wahh). We then... did nothing... then on Sunday... we did some more nothing. Oh but there was cooking. Although Gav relegated me to washing up at one point because the kitchen was too small for two cooks... ;) that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

I was gutted to have to say goodbye, of course, but I'm feeling a lot better than I was this time two weeks ago. Having satisfied my cravings, I'm working out when I can next go up to Cardiff.

I went to the church that I was invited to on Sunday night, which was lovely and very very much needed. Today has been good, I've been wandering around beatboxing atrociously and enjoying it a lot.

*Gav made some rules for the Anners. Rule 1 is: no going on fire. Rule 2 is: Anners may has hugs. Rule 3: Gavs may also has hugs.