Stress, fog, G4 politics and the like.

So, work has been getting steadily more... work-like. I still really enjoy my job, don't get me wrong, but after three stress-free months, it's returned with a thud for Christmas. I mean Christmas was always bound to be mad, it is in any job. It's just that there's staff conference in january. And Andy's leaving for pastures new. And everyone's out of action having babies all over the place (a minor exaggeration, but seriously, ALL OVER THE PLACE). It's just all that, combined with the fact that they're going to expect more from me now that I'm a term in. That's all.

Today has been so foggy! All day. The streetlights made everything outside the visibility zone look like a giant orange blur, all very strange and surreal.

It was the G4 Christmas meal today. It was great seeing everyone again! I spent a fair while talking to Kerry's fiancé, Tom, about Mormonism. If my friend's going to be baptised into it, I should know what it's all about. I've done a fair bit of research, but the concepts still feel a bit alien... I've got a lot to think about... but I've decided that I'm going to her baptism.

I don't know if I ever mentioned Bruce. Our spider plant. My beloved. Tonight, the mystery of his disappearance was solved. Dan did it. He cut off Bruce's leaves and threw him in the bin, hahah what a practical joker that Dan is... turns out the "F4" thought it would be funny. The self-titled fantastic 4.

The F'ing 4 weren't the only example of G4 politics, of course, as tonight reminded me... honestly, I love them all individually, but I'm well shot of that environment. Jenny and Becky (supervised by Mike, of course) made a professionally printed G4 calender, and it's fantastic, but as Jenny pointed out, it's nice that everybody looks so happy in the photos because "you can't tell who hates who".

And that about sums it up, really.

Religion

Did you know that everyone feels oppressed by everyone else? In terms of religion, I mean. We all feel oppressed.

Somebody should do something about that.

Net friends

Is it possible to have a friendship with somebody you know exclusively, or mainly, over the internet? I don't mean somebody you knew who you only talk to online, I mean somebody you've never met, and have no contact with, other than what they've allowed you to see?

That's the kicker, isn't it. People can be so selective with what they show you. A forty year old man could present himself as a young woman, and it would be hard to know that the reality didn't match the image presented. Can we ever really trust someone we haven't seen in the flesh? If people can lie in the big ways, surely they can lie in the small ways? Taste in music, eye colour, where they live. What's to say that the personality you've come to 'know' matches their true self?

Well, I'd argue that the same could be said of anyone, whether you've met them or not. Your brother could be lying to you. Your wife could. Your maths teacher could. I don't think it really makes much of a difference how close you are, you can never really prove who you are to anyone.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should all be cynical about how honest people are being. I'm just saying that maybe online relationships aren't so different to any other. I have friends online, and I wouldn't hesitate to call them friends. There's one in particular that I share some very important things in common with, we get on well, and that's taken our relationship outside of MSN. We talk on the phone. He left me a treasure hunt for when I was going to be in the same place as he'd been three weeks previously. He's always there for me if I've had a bit of a pants day, and I'd like to think that I'd do the same for him. We're a lot closer than I am with some people I've known my whole life.

I'm very sensible, in general. I probably would meet him alone, if the opportunity presented itself, but in a public place, in daytime, etc etc. But I know how different the reality may be. I know that there are a million little things I don't know about him. The way he walks. If he blows his hair out of his eyes. If he fiddles with his hands. So I'm prepared, when I meet him (and I'm pretty confident that one day I will), there will be an awkwardness there because we don't know each other in that way. But once we get past that intial discomfort, I'm confident that we'll find we know each other as well as we ever thought we did.

It's just a different context, that's all. I've got to know him in an environment where looks aren't important, fashion isn't important, wealth isn't important; and we're not used to that, as a society. Whether it's a truer reflection of his personality, I couldn't say, but I don't think online friendships 'don't count' just because of the lack of a physical presence.

The hardest thing, though, is that me and my dave are both rather 'huggy' people. We like that physical contact, that reassurance. It can mean a lot when you're feeling low. And to be deprived of that just because he lives too far away seems... unfair, almost. No, yes, it is unfair. To be so close but so far away. I don't care what anyone says, those little hug emoticons just don't do the trick! ;) (Neither does <-that<-, ironically. It means I'm being lighthearted.)

Miss you, Dave. Sorry we haven't spoken for a few days. We will.

Re-purplened hair!

Dear diary. Still on the bloody island. Today I swallowed a bug.

Well, my beloved Dominique has kindly helped my dye my hair again. It's much purpler than last time. I love it! We had a great time watching Cars and eating chocolate cake. And talking in Southern accents. And laughing about... everything. I love Dom for that, we can have a laugh about anything and everything... but we both miss Lucy very much.

Lucy went to South Africa. She isn't dead or anything.

So I'm moving back in with my parents tomorrow, just for a couple of weeks for Christmas... the festive season's kinda snuck up on me, what with not being with my family for the traditional build-up. All the things I associate with Advent haven't happened, and now suddenly I'm meant to be ready with presents all wrapped... let me tell you, I am not that organised. Wish I was.

Purple purple purple purple.

Possible burnout ahead?

This is the third time I've blogged this month, and we're only halfway in. That is ridiculous! I better slow down. I might strain a blogging muscle. I think my brain is overheating, this is absurdly prolific for me. I mean, yeah, some bloggers might post something every day. Or maybe even more than that. But you've got to find your own level, you know? And my personal level has got to be... ooh, once, twice a month. Tops. And now, to see that very comfortable plateau ROCKETING to THREE times a month... well, it's disconcerting. To say the least.

In fact, I think I'm reaching burnout. I think I may have no more thoughts in my head. Wait. If I'm thinking that, that means I must have thoughts. I think. Oh, there's another one! This is all making me very dizzy, I may have to lie down.

Actually, I'm already semi-reclined. You see, I am very slack. So now that I have my beloved laptop and a very comfortable bed, I tend to combine the two in true lazy girl style more often than is good for me. But in my defence, it makes more sense than putting it on the desk, because then it would be a desktop now wouldn't it. And that would just be darn silly.

I do have more significant thoughts than this, I promise. All deep and meaningful-like. I've just been drowning them out with thoughts of the interwebs lately. Bad Anna.

Anywhoot, I'm off to watch Lost like a moron instead of sleeping. Meh, who needs sleep, it just slows me down...

This picture was NOT meant to be blue. WHY is it blue. *grumbles* stupid blog...

Wii are the champions!

So today I was lucky to enough to play on my friend's Wii. (Ok, snigger, now let's move on.) And I have to say, I love it! For those who don't know (but by the time anyone reads this, everybody will), the Wii is Nintendo's latest gaming console and it is super-clever and most probably the forerunner of a new type of gaming console.

I got used to the Wii controller pretty quickly, because the movements are pretty intuitive. Tennis in particular was really fun to play because it just felt so natural. And the whole idea of making "Miis" (mini representatives of yourself) is genius, that was a lot of fun.

My friend, being a purebred techie, had to do it properly of course. Not for him the standard plug-it-into-the-telly setup, ohno. He had to have a projector attached to his living-room ceiling and a 70-inch white screen on the wall to play on. So I reckon I probably got the best playing experience possible. And it was gooood...

I think probably it will be improved. Like, little things like the resolution, the games available etc. But the general concept of the Wii controller will probably be adopted by Nintendo's rivals sooner rather than later... or they'll have to find another way to compete. Especially since it's affordable in comparison to the PS3. (About £350 cheaper... that's quite a bit.)

So the future is looking rather spiffy. The only complaint I do have is that it can't always tell if you're moving the controller forwards or backwards, which can be an issue in golf.

My completely non-professional opinion: 9/10, and they'll be working on the rest in no time :)

Internet withdrawal.

This picture (---->) is in honour of Boh3m3. If you don't know, you probably don't need to!

I made it one whole week without an internet connection. Voluntarily. Iiiii Know!

Well, y'see, I've been spending far too long online. So I took a week off to see how much spare time it frees up. Turns out, the answer is: a lot!

It was bad, though. A few times I even woke up thinking I'd failed my task, only to realise that it had been a dream... that's just a little bit tragic...

But internet addiction is more common than you might think. Just look at YouTube (which I've returned to willingly and lovingly after this heartbreaking absence). I'd say there are probably hundreds of people on there who couldn't cope without a daily fix, no exaggeration. And I'm one of them apparently, even if I do have some self-control.

It took a lot of discipline, but I made it, and I'm back and grooving.

I bought the second Scissor Sisters album the other day, Ta-Dah. I had really high expectations given how much I loved their first one, but I have to say, it has exceeded my expectations. It's awesome! Truly spectacular, these guys just keep getting better. I think my favourite track at the moment is I Can't Decide; the best in cheesy psychotic pop songs. Although Land of a Thousand Words (their latest single) is excellent too. But then, once again, so is every song on the album... oh, and Intermission is absolutely classic.

Hello again, blog...

Yes, I know I've been neglecting you. Yes, I know, I'm sorry. Well I'm back now.

It's just that I've been busy, you know? What with work, friends, family, and an insane YouTube addiction that's severely crippling my free time.

Anyway. It's good to be back. Maybe I can actually become a regular blogger! ... Heheh, right...

I should be asleep. I told myself I'd be sensible tonight, try and get to sleep before midnight, but noooo again the YouTube steals my time and it's already coming up to 1am. Dagnabbit.

The main reason that I'm doing this is because I've now linked to this blog from my website, which would be kind of pointless if I'd abandoned it completely. Mind you, my website isn't actually finished yet, and probably won't be until they find a way to eliminate the need for sleep completely.

At any rate, hello dear reader. I missed you. (Not Dear Reader as in the hypothetical reader, but Dear Reader as in my only actual reader, Les. Assuming he still reads this.)

My plans for the future (Yes! I have some!)

I am such a lucky, lucky girl.

At the last Catalyst I went to, Ian hunted me down and said we needed to talk. After going through the customary mental routine ("Help. Help. What have I done? Am I being kicked out? WHAT DID I DO?!") it turned out that he wanted to talk to me about a gap year thing the YFC guys have been thinking about. [1] And they wanted ME!!! Excitement!!! SO things that will be happening next year: (probably)

Moving to Newport (thus leaving home for the first time)
Learning to drive (the use of a company car included! lol)
Living with a Christian family (no idea who yet, scary...)
Assemblies with middle school kids (who are all evil, I swear)
Catalyst / clusters related stuff (so possibly public speaking!)

The thing is, I am immediately panicking about so many things... for example: what if the other kids don't like me? [2]

That said, I'm dead excited and very proud. Wish me luck / pray for me!

[1] YFC = Youth For Christ. They're the main Christian organisation for teenagers on the Isle of Wight. They organise events like Catalyst, Bible study groups, trips to Soul Survivor... and other regular doses of Godly goodness.

[2] And by 'other kids', I mean the YFC guys, the girl(s) I would be working with, and the actual kids I'll be actually leading. Terrifying beyond all reason.

Who Am I?

Does anybody else find Will Young's new music video incredibly disturbing?! The song is called Who Am I, and the video shows him in various classic Blue Peter moments from the 70s. That, to me, is very creepy; akin to photoshopping your head over someone's spouse in a photo. Ack. Makes me wonder if there's an unfulfilled childhood fantasy there.

That said, I suppose it's an ok song, (hah I say that now. Wait until it's been massively overplayed.) and he got a Blue Peter badge for his efforts so they presumably thought it was good.

So, update on me: Fine thanks. Very behind on coursework and revision and stuff, but hey ho, that's how it goes. I'll survive.