My plans for the future (Yes! I have some!)

I am such a lucky, lucky girl.

At the last Catalyst I went to, Ian hunted me down and said we needed to talk. After going through the customary mental routine ("Help. Help. What have I done? Am I being kicked out? WHAT DID I DO?!") it turned out that he wanted to talk to me about a gap year thing the YFC guys have been thinking about. [1] And they wanted ME!!! Excitement!!! SO things that will be happening next year: (probably)

Moving to Newport (thus leaving home for the first time)
Learning to drive (the use of a company car included! lol)
Living with a Christian family (no idea who yet, scary...)
Assemblies with middle school kids (who are all evil, I swear)
Catalyst / clusters related stuff (so possibly public speaking!)

The thing is, I am immediately panicking about so many things... for example: what if the other kids don't like me? [2]

That said, I'm dead excited and very proud. Wish me luck / pray for me!

[1] YFC = Youth For Christ. They're the main Christian organisation for teenagers on the Isle of Wight. They organise events like Catalyst, Bible study groups, trips to Soul Survivor... and other regular doses of Godly goodness.

[2] And by 'other kids', I mean the YFC guys, the girl(s) I would be working with, and the actual kids I'll be actually leading. Terrifying beyond all reason.

Who Am I?

Does anybody else find Will Young's new music video incredibly disturbing?! The song is called Who Am I, and the video shows him in various classic Blue Peter moments from the 70s. That, to me, is very creepy; akin to photoshopping your head over someone's spouse in a photo. Ack. Makes me wonder if there's an unfulfilled childhood fantasy there.

That said, I suppose it's an ok song, (hah I say that now. Wait until it's been massively overplayed.) and he got a Blue Peter badge for his efforts so they presumably thought it was good.

So, update on me: Fine thanks. Very behind on coursework and revision and stuff, but hey ho, that's how it goes. I'll survive.

Feeling better now, thankyou

Ok. After being in a properly bad mood for the past couple of days, as I'm sure you can tell, I've snapped out of it. Yay for me. Basically, the weather's lovely, school's on strike, and I finally started being productive. I've done some coursework, at last, I cooked dinner for me and my brother, and then I took my books to the library to sort out the debts.

Of course, the library was also closed, but it's the gesture that counts.

Now I'm just trying to work out how to get to Cafe Uno tonight, looks like it's gonna be the bus. Cafe Uno, for those of you who don't know, is a great place to hang out with friends after a hard day's work (stifles laughter). We play pool, connect4, DOA3 (the best - and indeed, the only - xbox combat game I've ever played), Guess Who?. We buy milkshakes and chocolate. We talk, read cartoons, mess about, and generally have a fantastic time!

And Pete does NOT look like Mr. Tumnus. He just doesn't.

In conclusion: Llama. http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

Jealousy

Jealousy messes stuff up. I know several couples that have this problem at the moment, and I thought I should let you all know: it's destructive. To everyone. You, him/her, and everyone you know or come into contact with. It's not reasonable to demand things from your partner that they shouldn't have to give.

Grrrr. Now I'm all sad and grumpy.

Wanna know what I REALLY hate? (sorry)

I am not a hatey person. Hating is far too much effort, in my book, and not very nice to boot, but there are some things I just find abhorrant, and I thought I should blog it out before I do something I regret.

Oops - too late - I accidentally emailed one of 'em.

Y'see, there are some people out there who like to be as contraversial as possible, by insulting, offending, and mocking others. One that's going round at the moment is an anti-Christianity site, basically mocking Intelligent Design and anyone who believes it by promoting a Spaghetti God theory. I'm not saying that I believe ID, I don't know exactly what I believe, just that I find it disgusting that they are treated this way. The current theory seems to be that everyone's beliefs should be tolerated unless they're Christian. And, as with so many of these sites, there's a page dedicated solely to the 'hate mail' they recieve (i.e. anyone who disagrees with them) and, as I have seen elsewhere, somebody has constructed a well thought out, polite rebuttal of the site's content. Followed by an email asking for their email address to be removed from the site, as users of the site have been sending threats, hate mail, spam etc.

Isn't that horrible? To be so angry that someone could disagree with your patently ridiculous theory that you make their life a misery until they apologise? Sadly there are all too many people like this. I only hope that they grow up and are ashamed of themselves.

Miracles will never cease

So, after the shock revelation that somebody actaully reads this, (I know! Hi Les!) I decided it was time I updated you.

Lately I've been going to various universities to have a look around. You see, where all six of the unis I applied to have accepted me, I now have to decide which ones I consider to be good enough for me. (Which is all well and good until I fail my exams.)
Today I checked out Chichester university - eventually! Y'see, I'm not great at mapreading. Never have been. So when I was told that it would fall to me to decide where we were going, I knew there was only one way that could go.

And indeed, when we stumbled through the door of Chichester College an hour late, my worst fears had been realised. But more than that, halfway through filling out the form, I realised they thought I was going into childcare, and that the college is in fact NOT the university. So we left again. I was close to tears at one point. But the rest of the day went fine (except for getting hideously lost again on the way back through no fault of our own [they moved the ferry terminal. Seriously.])

Guess what! Ben's planned a Man's Night In! Oh dear, this may take some explaining. You see, last Man's Night In we had, I was invited as a special guest. I thought "Great, so I get to see what men act like when there are no girls around," as I'm usually in mixed company. I'm not the girliest girl ever, so I thought I'd be in my element! Not AT ALL what I expected. My (heterosexual) male friends were:
1) Watching Friends. Understandable.
2) Using moisturiser. Forgivable.
3) Dying each other's hair in the bathroom. Hmmmm.

So watching my friends taking their tops off, all 5 or 6 of us crammed into the bathroom, the most boyish thing that happened was a less-than-subtle joke about what Jamez was going to do with the rubber glove provided with the hair-dye kit.

This time it's going to be a proper manly night, with beer and sports. Never drunk beer before, could be an experience, especially since Justin wants me to drink his share as he can't be there! Sigh. I miss Justin. He's moved to London for a year, which is just inconsiderate really.

I wonder if anyone can help me with something. In Newport on the Isle of Wight there's a tiny theatre / art gallery type thing called the Quay Arts Centre. After I saw a play there the other night, I came out to see the words "The afflicted" written in chalk on a wooden part of the building. I immediately thought Oooooo a mystery! Who are the afflicted? What does it mean? What do they want? How many of them are there? Do you know?

Of course you don't. Probably one person with some chalk knows. I doubt they read my blog.

Sorry for the rather lengthy post, hope you like it. Take care y'all.

Anna x x

I'm being unfaithful...

I'm sorry, but I have to confess something. I have been looking at other blog sites to see if there's somewhere I might consider... um... switching to. Y'see, I get restless pretty easily, and other blogs have all these cool features - and one of them is called manicfish, isn't that such a cool name? What I wouldn't give to have a name that cool in my blog address.

Sadly, they're all rubbish. I'm not kidding. They are boring and all plain colours, whereas I have a colour scheme! Hah! Yes I do, with spots! Oh yes! So I'm staying put, at least until a better offer comes along.

Maybe it's not such a terrible thing that I'm not the boyfriend-having type...

It's the school half term now, so I spent most of saturday asleep. And today for the first time in yonks, I wasn't even slightly sleepy at church. I was so proud of myself. It wasnt half bad actually.

That reminds me, there's this verse that's been on my mind lately. Everybody I know gives me a different explanation, so any ideas would be welcomed... John 20:23. Jesus says to his disciples, "If you forgive their sins, they will be forgiven. If you do not, they will not be forgiven." So.... wow. Big deal slightly? I mean, does this apply to the disciples only, or was it instructions for the church, and... wha...? Like I said, no two people seem to agree.

My mum didn't know I have a blog. Hunh. I guess it hasn't come up in conversation much, but still! She's my mother, she should already know these things without me having to tell her.

Boyfriends, and a lack thereof.

So, in honour of this time of year (Yeah right, we all know it's a commercial holiday) I thought I'd let you all know how the love-life is going. Hah.

I have never had a boyfriend. Ever. I have never even been kissed (except on the neck and that doesn't count for various reasons). And that's voluntarily, you understand - years of not playing spin-the-bottle because I wanted my first kiss to mean something. So I kind of set myself targets... by the age of 17, I decided, I would feel get compliments about the way I look. And when I was 17, I sometimes did. By 18, I would start to accept the compliments (as opposed to saying "What?! You must be crazy, or blind, or both.") And by 19, fingers crossed, I will be able to believe the compliments. Anything's possible...

So, where I am now, there are a few guys who seem to think I'm attractive. And yay for them, seriously, but I'm no closer to getting a boyfriend. This presents me with a serious problem. Because for my drama A level, we have chosen to do a play that will involve me kissing (like, properly 'snogging') two guys I WORK WITH. I am not attracted to them especially, and I don't know how to kiss. At the grand old age of 18 I am having nervy spazzes about kissing a guy. Ugh. Pathetic.

So, at this most romantic time of year, when a third of Britain will get all loved up and the other two thirds will get depressed and resentful, I will be obsessing because my first kiss will be a joke. And I don't know how. Whimper.

Sorry for landing all my neuroses on you, but you'll just have to put up with it. I don't know you, why should I pretend to be confident and capable? Hm. That's almost deep.

My rock.

On Thursday, I was given a rock. To remind me of something very important. As time progressed, I grew to love the rock. It would comfort me through a zombie film, and even through a film with Keanu Reeves in. Just fiddling with it kind of got me addicted, which is why, on the way home from the cinema when I realised that I DIDN'T HAVE MY ROCK, I got hugely upset. So, after pining for the rest of saturday and all of sunday moring, I went to the beach to get another rock.

There are many rocks on Cowes beach. I am not even aware if there is any sand. Just rocks. And now I have a new rock, which, although it's different, I'm sure I will grow to love it just as much.

What's really sad is that I care so much about a rock.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAARRGH! Aaaargh! Ahahahaaaaaaaaargh... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2CfuqcUGE argh sorry, it just slipped out... there are some things David Hasselhof was NOT meant to do. Don't click on that link.