I'm being unfaithful...

I'm sorry, but I have to confess something. I have been looking at other blog sites to see if there's somewhere I might consider... um... switching to. Y'see, I get restless pretty easily, and other blogs have all these cool features - and one of them is called manicfish, isn't that such a cool name? What I wouldn't give to have a name that cool in my blog address.

Sadly, they're all rubbish. I'm not kidding. They are boring and all plain colours, whereas I have a colour scheme! Hah! Yes I do, with spots! Oh yes! So I'm staying put, at least until a better offer comes along.

Maybe it's not such a terrible thing that I'm not the boyfriend-having type...

It's the school half term now, so I spent most of saturday asleep. And today for the first time in yonks, I wasn't even slightly sleepy at church. I was so proud of myself. It wasnt half bad actually.

That reminds me, there's this verse that's been on my mind lately. Everybody I know gives me a different explanation, so any ideas would be welcomed... John 20:23. Jesus says to his disciples, "If you forgive their sins, they will be forgiven. If you do not, they will not be forgiven." So.... wow. Big deal slightly? I mean, does this apply to the disciples only, or was it instructions for the church, and... wha...? Like I said, no two people seem to agree.

My mum didn't know I have a blog. Hunh. I guess it hasn't come up in conversation much, but still! She's my mother, she should already know these things without me having to tell her.

Boyfriends, and a lack thereof.

So, in honour of this time of year (Yeah right, we all know it's a commercial holiday) I thought I'd let you all know how the love-life is going. Hah.

I have never had a boyfriend. Ever. I have never even been kissed (except on the neck and that doesn't count for various reasons). And that's voluntarily, you understand - years of not playing spin-the-bottle because I wanted my first kiss to mean something. So I kind of set myself targets... by the age of 17, I decided, I would feel get compliments about the way I look. And when I was 17, I sometimes did. By 18, I would start to accept the compliments (as opposed to saying "What?! You must be crazy, or blind, or both.") And by 19, fingers crossed, I will be able to believe the compliments. Anything's possible...

So, where I am now, there are a few guys who seem to think I'm attractive. And yay for them, seriously, but I'm no closer to getting a boyfriend. This presents me with a serious problem. Because for my drama A level, we have chosen to do a play that will involve me kissing (like, properly 'snogging') two guys I WORK WITH. I am not attracted to them especially, and I don't know how to kiss. At the grand old age of 18 I am having nervy spazzes about kissing a guy. Ugh. Pathetic.

So, at this most romantic time of year, when a third of Britain will get all loved up and the other two thirds will get depressed and resentful, I will be obsessing because my first kiss will be a joke. And I don't know how. Whimper.

Sorry for landing all my neuroses on you, but you'll just have to put up with it. I don't know you, why should I pretend to be confident and capable? Hm. That's almost deep.

My rock.

On Thursday, I was given a rock. To remind me of something very important. As time progressed, I grew to love the rock. It would comfort me through a zombie film, and even through a film with Keanu Reeves in. Just fiddling with it kind of got me addicted, which is why, on the way home from the cinema when I realised that I DIDN'T HAVE MY ROCK, I got hugely upset. So, after pining for the rest of saturday and all of sunday moring, I went to the beach to get another rock.

There are many rocks on Cowes beach. I am not even aware if there is any sand. Just rocks. And now I have a new rock, which, although it's different, I'm sure I will grow to love it just as much.

What's really sad is that I care so much about a rock.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAARRGH! Aaaargh! Ahahahaaaaaaaaargh... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2CfuqcUGE argh sorry, it just slipped out... there are some things David Hasselhof was NOT meant to do. Don't click on that link.

So, what am I thinking riiight now?

I could tell you about what's happened in my life, but as I am the only person who ever reads this damn thing, I'm going to record my thoughts instead.

1. Magical Trevor 3 is amazing. Go to http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor+3/ and see it. Now.

2. I'm so glad I'm not a male. That would really be A Bad Thing, and I don't know how all you males out there cope with it.

3. I hate being a woman. This lands me in a rather tricky situation. I get aggressive when people call me feminine, I get upset when people call me masculine, and I got very angry indeed when I got called a man-bashing feminist. I am not a girly girl, I am not a tomboy, I am what I am not but not what I would be if I were what I am when I'm not what I'm not.

4. I think I feel a song coming on...

5. http://www.littleredboat.co.uk/ is by far the best blog I have ever encountered. In fact, if you trust me at all, go there instead of finishing this one. This applies to me as well.

6. I am looking at weblog awards and feeling inadequate. But I am alternating that with toons, so I feel ok again!

7. Now I'm looking at other blogs and feeling confused. There appears to be no universal definition of a blog. Some contain online diaries, which (let's be honest) is kinda what I was going for. Some are just pleasant little rambles about whatever happens to be on the blogger's mind. Others comment on news, political or celebrity. There are blogs dedicated to fictional characters, films, television shows. Why?

8. I should be doing useful things right now. Specifically, I should be emptying the dishwasher for my mother before she gets back, because I said I would. Or I could be doing coursework, I said I'd do that too. Actually I didn't, but you know how teachers are, they kinda take it as read. Or I could get food. I haven't had lunch yet. Awww...

9. I'm going to empty the dishwasher now. Bye.

Last night, my pulling top, pizza and wine.

So, I went to my mate's 18th birthday celebration last night. I was very nervous - it's the first time I wore my corset out in public! - but it was a great laugh and we all had a fantastic time. I was wearing my mum's hoodie, jokingly referred to as my 'pulling top' because I always get some interest when I wear it. I've only been allowed to borrow it twice, but both times...

So, this time I wore it, I got on the bus for free (thankyou driver man), and got a big smile off a very cute guy indeed (who then pointed me out to his mate). Most happymaking. :D

We went to Pizza Express. Excellent service and food; the wine was nice too although I'm not that keen on wine. Not really keen on alcoholic drinks in general, actually... except Baileys. Of course.

The guys went on to Chicago Rock - although apparently they didn't get in - and I went home. A lot of fun.

Guilt is a short-lived creature...

... and yet laziness endures. Something for you to think about. Seriously, though, it would really encourage me to get more comments from any potential readers, since I feel like I'm blogging into the void at the moment. Almost all my comments are spam so far!

Another reason I haven't been updating much is the sheer manicness of my life right now. There's homework, coursework, university applications, birthdays, Christmas, not to mention trying to put off doing all of the above (which probably takes up the most time of all of them.)

Hey, good news on the mormon though, he's getting on really well with a friend I introduced him to. See, this is the benefit of making sure all your friends know all your other friends - nobody depends on me to make conversation! I am not needed! Yay! Wait, is that a good thing though? So, yeah, I've been hideously confused about that. I have no bestest best friend, but lots of very good friends. Which is great. But it does mean that if they make bestest best friends with each other, I'm left in the corner sulking. Or at least, I was. Then I thought "They won't talk to me if I sulk", so I've been working on being lovely and friendly.

I'm still a little baffled than anyone would want to read about all this, to be honest. I can understand my neuroses being dissected for a psychology class, I guess, but for amusement?

Oh, hey, amusement it is. Two men were walking through a graveyard. One said, "Morning." and the other one replied "Nah, I'm just walking my dog." Cue hilarity. I can say jokes, saying them is easy - very few jokes work better written down.

I'm going to a friend's birthday bash tonight, and I bought a corset for it. I've always wanted one, and now that they're 'in' I can actually get hold of one. They didn't have a size 12 so I'm wearing a 14 and hoping the thing stays up by willpower! It seems to expect there to be a lot more of me in certain places, which I don't get since I'm not overly lacking there anyway. Wish me luck for tonight.

Things to think about:
I have never seen a baby pigeon. Have you? What do they look like? Where do they go?

And remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Which is about cliff-climbing, a mormon, a bouncy castle and THUD.

So, yet again I decide to update my hideously irregular blog, for no reason other than guilt. Also, I feel I have something worth saying.
I climbed a cliff the other day. Now, I didn't know there was a cliff in Newport, but apparently there is and we climbed it. I volunteered to go on an adventure with some friends, and the next thing I knew I was dodging chalky rockslides while clinging onto dead branches. I was scared, but that's because I'm pathetic. And there was barbed wire, and a sludgy quarry, and dense bracken and all sorts. I have an impressive array of scratches and bruises; I tell people that my boyfriend beats me. (I'm kidding.) Perhaps, in retrospect, I shouldn't have worn my high-heeled boots.
Well, I didn't know it was going to happen, did I!
...
The next day, I went on a date with a Mormon I met on a bouncy castle.
No, I'm not kidding.
I met him at a mutual friend's 18th, and there was a bouncy castle. He seemed nice, we agreed to meet up again, etc. He seems nice enough, but I'm just 'not in a very girlfriendy place right now'.
Then I met the family, got a belated birthday present - THUD! - and played silly games.
I love Thud. I've already read it, I got it last night and haven't done anything constructive all day. About 460 pages in roughly 4 and a half hours. Not bad going! I love it, it's a Discworld book by Terry Pratchett who is just the coolest author ever. Better than Post Office, probably not as good as Night Watch, we'll see. I love the Watch books. If you don't know anything about Discworld, feel free to use my opinion to muscle in on dinner party conversations; everyone will agree because I am right. Naturally.
So until next time, beloved yet sadly non-existent readers, adieu.

Cliff, here I come.

No, I'm not declaring my intentions for everyone's favourite long-term pop legend. I have an English presentation for tomorrow, so I drew this helpful diagram to illustrate my further course of action.

Lovely. That's me, see, and that's the cliff. It wouldn't be that bad, but my teacher reminded me to do it today because she's being supervised tomorrow. So I was very helpful and reassuring and said of course I'd do it when I got home and then I couldn't remember what I said I'd do. And I hadn't written it down. But I googled till I couldn't google no more, and I eventually remembered what I was doing. But I can't find anything about it. So instead, I'm writing this which is useless but may just entertain you.

Also, I recently had my hair cut by some top London people. (For free as one is my aunt. Heehee) I'll put a photo up soon. (Promise.)

If you actually read this, look after yourself, ok? x x

Apologies, and a whistle-stop tour.

Argh... it's been ages since I last updated. I'll compensate by not going over anything in very much detail.

Soul Survivor, just so you know, was incredible. 11,000 Christians leaping about like mad things; definitely a recommended way to spend your summer.

Then... I met a homeless girl called Sarah, very lovely person. Sweet dog too.

Then... other stuff happened... in America... oh I don't know, it's all too much for me. I really can't be bothered right now. Or at any other time. Think about it; the only times I write in my blog is when I'm bored, i.e., when there's nothing to write about.

Anyway, peace out my groovy cats and I'll see you all never. Unless... y'know, I know you or something. Or you're a Christian, in which case save me a cloud. x x